Too Old for this Shit

I recently had the opportunity to go see Ani DiFranco at The Ives Center in Danbury. It’s actually a pretty cool venue – basically a giant gazebo floating on water. I didn’t even get dive-bombed by the bat-sized moths or mosquitoes undoubtedly infected with West Nile. I was, however, just about ready to crawl over two rows of seats and punch the obnoxious cow who managed to drive away almost everyone around her.

Looks Like the Lady’s Luck Ran Out

Originally posted on May 9, 2008

Tonight was the not so grand opening of a new bar on Fairfield Avenue in downtown Bridgeport called Lady Luck. I was of course in attendance with my husband and BFF Dave by my side. The opening was originally set for April 25, which we were unable to attend as we were just returning home from our travels abroad in England and Scotland that night. I’m quite sure that this change of date was due to my schedule conflict. After all, what is an opening without Prissy Bitch?

Turn Monday into Fun-Day at The Gris

Originally posted on May 28, 2008

No one who reads this article will ever have an excuse for being bored on Monday night again! Because as of right now, you know that every Monday night at The Griswold Inn in Essex is sea shanties (or “chanteys” depending on how much of a stickler you are) night.

Now If Only They’d Stop Crapping Gas Into Our Water

Sure, the rich can crap on us working-class suckers in many ways but I’m often perturbed when I see someone’s boat leaving behind that slick, rainbow of gasoline on the surface of water. I may steer clear of CT’s beaches but its lakes and river are fantastic and the last thing I want when I finally go swimming in the summer is to end up looking like a victim of the Exxon Valdez.

Beaches are Less Gross

Being of an un-godly pale color myself, I don’t frequent many beaches, especially the ones in Connecticut (or any of its surrounding states). Seaweed freaks me out, I hate not being able to see what’s around me (i.e. jelly fish, deadly Tiger sharks and waste from Millstone) and dislike being crammed onto a small blanket in the middle of a sea of sunbathers – most of whom are loud, fat and come with kids who like to throw water and sand. But those of you crazy enough to go near the beaches in CT might find this report heartening.

How Can I Keep from Killing My Co-Workers?

Q: My coworker is a bipolar nut-job who needs to have all attention and accolades showered upon her. How do I regain my position of professional “power” without being unprofessional? Locking her in the supply closet with her face wrapped in duct tape doesn’t seem to be a viable option.

– Violent in Wethersfield

B-I-N-G-O & Sybil Was Her Name-O

Originally posted on February 1, 2008

by The Prissy Bitch

On a rainy Friday night a Connecticut housewife with a drinking problem and a politically bent, no-nonsense reporter set out to unlock the mysteries of Gay Bingo. On the first Friday of every month the Mid-Fairfield AIDS Project (MFAP) holds this gem of an event in the basement of St. Paul’s Church on the Green in Norwalk. Weather you come for the Gay or you come for the Bingo, this show promises not to disappoint.

So, You Think You Can Live in Hartford?

Originally published on March 20, 2008

Hartford city leaders have been scheming for years to get a younger generation of Nutmeggers to move into New England’s Rising Star. Part of the ploy to entice 20-somethings into the city is to feature a number of upscale apartments, close to downtown bars and restaurants. Are these apartments worth looking into? Would anyone want to actually live in New England’s (Gang) Shooting Star?

While there are a number of more sizable buildings, this CuT reporter decided to check out one of Hartford’s most recognizable and famous buildings which was recently turned into apartments: The Colt Building.

CT Rollergirls: They Like to Hit Stuff

Originally posted on April 27, 2008

by The Anti-Couric

“It’s kind of like a mosh-pit on skates,” says Murderface Maully, a metal head and office manager when she’s not busy knocking out chicks for the Elm City Bone Crushers. She’s exactly right. There is no better way to describe roller derby or, more specifically, the CT Rollergirls.

There’s No Excuse, Even Poor People Can Be Fashionable

Originally Posted March 16, 2008

by The Prissy Bitch

Recently I’ve been perplexed by the amount of people I’ve seen wearing ugly clothes and began to wonder “Is it because they’re poor?” So I set off to investigate fashion options for the less fortunate. The first stop on my journey was a place called Marshalls. I’m not sure if any of my readers have heard of it before so I will explain.

Connectigreen

Originally Posted on April 15, 2008

By The Anti-Couric

As you might have guessed, my favorite holiday is Earth Day. There aren’t many days of the year that I can offer my helpful “green tips” to the rest of you conspicuous consumers without eliciting eye-rolls and the occasional, “F*ck off tree-hugger.” So, since Earth Day is fast approaching (April 22⁾ I thought I would share some of my favorite green tips and spots with our readers.

The Atlanta Hawks are Moving to Hartford

Originally posted April 24, 2008

by RingNation

You probably haven’t heard that the Atlanta Hawks are moving to Hartford, because I just started the rumor with that headline. So let this be the start of a campaign to get the Hawks out of the Deep South and into the Nutmeg state!

You might be asking yourself, “Why would a franchise move from Atlanta up to Hartford? No in their right mind would do that!” That’s a legitimate objection. After all, isn’t Atlanta a huge city while Hartford is just a blip on the metropolis radar? The answer isn’t quite that simple so allow me to make a four-point case for the dormant Hawks to pack up their jerseys and head up north.

What Ever Do You Do Connectikittens?

Originally from April 28, 2008

by The Anti-Couric

Shortly before she left on her quest for expensive Scotch in the British Isles, Prissy Bitch left me some suggestions for things to do in the area, as she is generally worried about the state of my social calendar. Of course, while she was gone I just lay on my couch, watched CNN, tended my crappy container garden and stroked my cats. But the day she got back from her trip, she had me out and about again, socializing with the rest of Connecticut. This time she took me to Two Boots in Bridgeport on reports that something – we weren’t sure what – called The Connectikittens would be there.

Homeless Cause Riots…

but not the way you’d think.

People at an Enfield Planning and Zoning meeting were plain pissed off when a discussion on a proposal to turn an old school into supportive housing for the homeless was postponed until September.

Since you’re probably a decent human being you might be saying to yourself, “How nice of those people to protest the postponing of such a worthy project.”

But you’re wrong. Like most people clinging to the middle-class dream, they don’t want poor or disadvantaged people in their neighborhood. All those pesky victims of the mortgage crisis, and single-mothers losing their jobs in our shitty economy are really a drain on those Enfield neighborhoods.

People apparently got so out of control the police had to be called.

Stay classy, Enfield.

Doctors Still Hate Poor People

Anyone who has ever worked in a doctor or dentist’s office or has had the misfortune to be on a State health plan will tell you health care providers have never jumped at the chance to join up with these programs. None of the people were surprised to read this article in The Journal Inquirer. Much like The Prissy Bitch, doctors don’t seem to like poor people much and they certainly don’t like their State administered insurance.

One can hardly blame these docs for not wanting to deal with state bureaucracy more than necessary – would you want to depend on the DMV to get paid for your services? – but you would think that hypocratic oath might oblige them to deal with the headaches.