Earlier this week it was reported that high levels of uranium were found near Kathleen H. Ryerson Elementary School and Dr. Robert H. Brown Middle School in Madison. Uranium? Isn’t that what we’re trying to keep Iran from getting its hands on? We’re supposed to be scared of this stuff. It’s bad enough that uranium was found in the drinking water at the schools. What’s even worse is that town officials knew about it for two years and didn’t do anything. The town health director was notified by the state public health department in 2006, but didn’t bother telling anyone in town about it. It took an anonymous letter to school officials for someone to take action.
Now this isn’t the only bonehead act Madison is guilty of. You may have heard about its police force soliciting prostitutes while on duty. You know how they got caught? They used town police cruisers, emblazoned with “Madison Police” on the side, to drive into New Haven every night and get some action. The state cops patrolling the highways noticed them, and got curious as to why town cops were driving to New Haven every night at 1 a.m.
That’s not all. Back in 2005, some of the town’s fine young citizens went on April vacation with their parents to Mexico – to score steroids for the Hand High School football team. In all, seven high school seniors were busted for steroids. I wonder what happens when you mix steroids and uranium? Maybe you get the town health director.
And, there were rumors last year that Derek Jeter considered building a house there too. If you’re a Red Sox fan, this could be another great example of the type of people Madison attracts. For you Yankee fans, he decided not to move there, which shows his intelligence.
Madison, according to quality-of-life studies and magazine rankings, is a wonderful town to live in (just like East Hartford, West Haven and Norwalk. But the folks that live in the shoreline town must have been drinking the contaminated water for too long. The hills of Madison have eyes, and they’re running the place.
P.S. I wrote this because I can’t afford to live in Madison and I’m actually jealous.
Is there a way we can blame Millstone for the uranium in the water?
Sure. Even the uranium knows the best towns to live in. It comes from Millstone, skips right over Niantic, Westbrook, Old Saybrook, and Clinton to get to Madison.