WTIC, I LOATHE YOU!

I no longer have any reason to listen to WTIC ever again.

Colin, if you need a place to stay, let me know…

Basketball Diaries: Glastonbury

One of my favorite movies as a teenager was The Basketball Diaries – mostly because a young, handsome Mark Wahlberg shows his butt — but who would have thought Glastonbury would have its own uglier, less entertaining version of the movie (other than the people who’ve been hearing rumors for months of a fairly serious heroin problem in town). Well, thanks to the GPD and the East Central Narcotics Task Force, parents can once again rest easy because a bunch of “young adults” who pretty much look stoned out of their gourds got arrested and police say they seized about 200 bags of heroin.

New Year’s Resolutions, CuT Style

If you’re like every other person getting ready to chug some champagne tonight, you’re making a resolution for 2009. Here at The Cut,  we don’t usually bother with resolutions, because we don’t need to add more failure to our lives than necessary. But since our readers might want to better their lives, we’ve taken some of the most popular resolutions and added some realistic advice on how to achieve them in CT. No sugar coating–because sugar isn’t going to help you lose those 25 pounds.

Dropping Crap for the New Year

So, I was reading this article about towns that drop random crap on New Year’s Eve. Instead of the big Swarovski Crystal ball, towns like Key West , FL and Tallapoosa, GA (originally known as Possum Snout) drop drag queens in huge shoes and opossums. It got me thinking about stuff CT towns could drop at midnight to spice up the New Year. Since I don’t advocate animal cruelty, I don’t think we should be dropping any animals, and it’s too cold to ask a drag queen to sit in a giant shoe in a pretty dress, I had to think even further outside of the box. Here are my suggestions:

Tweens Take Advantage of Tough Times

The economy sucks. We’re all miserable. And if you’re anything like most of the people I know, you resort to boozing when your life is in the shitter–and if you live in Fairfield County you probably hit the bottle in the club car on your Metro North train so you’re half in the bag before you even get home. So, it’s no surprise that a bunch of Norwalk middle schoolers decided that selling mixed drinks on their bus would be a good way to raise their classmates spirits, and some money.

A Big Year for CT

The Courant seems to be a bit obsessed with statistics lately. Kind of weird, but here is a rundown of  some of the random things I learned today from exploring the front page of their website.

• 2008just may be CT’s wettest year ever, “As of Thursday, the weather reporting station at Bradley International Airport had recorded 63.32 inches of precipitation for the year. That put the state within about 1.2 inches of the 1972 record of 64.55 inches.” With the snow coming down we should get those extra 1.2 inches easily.

Someone Has Issues

You may or may not have heard of Heather Specyalski, a hot mess if ever there was one. Back in 2006 her lawyer argued in a wrongful death lawsuit that she could not possibly have been driving the car that wrecked on Rte. 9 and killed her then-boyfriend Neil Esposito, because she was busy performing a sex act on him at the time. (See what happens, guys, when you beg for road head? It’s no laughing matter.)

Bobby Brown “Look-a-like” Robs Bank

Anyone have any idea what former New Edition member, and ex-husband to Whitney Houston, Bobby Brown is up to these days?

No? I didn’t think so.

Live Blogging the Snow

Awesomest snowman ever.

Since the rest of the media loses its mind every time it snows in New England, we decided to join the fun. Apparently, Bradley Airport has already canceled a dozen flights (though I’m pretty sure it’s not even snowing up there yet) and overpaid state-employees of all stripes are currently being released in three stages :

Anti-Couric - 11:24 a.m. – Wilton - Still no snow here, though we’ve heard tell of flurries in Stamford. According to my clock radio, it was supposed to start mid-morning, and be getting heavy by noon, so I’m feeling a bit lied to at the moment.

Anti-Couric – 11:27 a.m. – Wilton – Light snow begins. Panic ensues. We all start plotting our escape from work.

Everybody’s a Little Bit Racist

You may not think of yourself as the kind of person who goes to see musicals. Heck, you might not even be the kind of person who bothers with theater. But if you’re reading this blog, I bet you’re probably the kind of person who likes foul-mouthed puppets so I highly suggest you go see Avenue Q at the Bushnell in January. (Videos after the jump…)

Has Anyone Seen Dave?

“Suspect Arrested In Beer Keg Tap Beating”

When I initially saw this headline my first instinct was to wonder who was bailing my old roommate out of jail. It’s only natural, since he’s prone to doing things like beating 1st grade classmates with a dictionary, renting kegs and holding onto them for extended periods of time, and getting drunk and doing things normal people would never do.

Swingers Get More People in Trouble

All this “swingers news” coming out of the Beverly Hills Suites has been a boon for our blog stats, so we have to say, we were a little happy to see more arrests being made, if only so we might hit 5,000 hits before the end of the week.

David Shadowfax, 49, of 14 Squires Road in Madison was charged with criminal liability to commit obscenity and criminal liability to commit public indecency, Capt. Chester DeGray said.

Also arrested was Shadowfax’s assistant – his wife. Tania Shadowfax, 37, of the same address was arrested on the same charges, he said.

Rich “Trophy” Wife Wastes Money

According the the beleaguered Hartford Courant the estranged wife of George David (former CEO and current board chairman of UTC), Marie Douglas-David, somehow manages to rack up $53,000 of expenses per week. Shocking? Yes, but what is more shocking is that roughly $1,000 of that is spent on hair and skin care and she doesn’t look much better than I do – and I spend about $20 every 6 months on a new face wash, and moisturizer.

Seriously, though, folks… this kind of spending is obscene. Weekly expenses that amount to more than I make a year is non-sense. No one needs to live that way… No one.

During three hours of testimony, David, 66, who stepped down as UTC’s chief executive last April, acknowledged jewelry purchases for his wife, including a $138,582 diamond engagement ring, $100,000 diamond earrings and a pair of $255,000 diamond earring studs from the prestigious Harry Winston jewelry store.

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year??

Most of The CuT’s writers seem to generally be upbeat and excited about Christmas. Well, I’m not. Here is a list of reasons why sometimes, I wish this country had more people who hate baby Jesus.

Traffic: For those of you living in the greater Hartford area, it might be best to avoid the entire town of Manchester. The Buckland area is a complete disaster from late November to early January. It is not uncommon to get off the highway during this time of the year

A New Twist on “A Christmas Story”

Anyone who has had cable TV for the past 10 years knows that it wouldn’t be Christmas without 24 hours of A Christmas Story. The wonderful Jean Shepherd tale featuring Ralphie, the infamous leg lamp, the Bumpus’s dogs, and the Red Ryder BB gun has become a holiday classic, if for no other reason than it’s on all the time. When the movie first came out in 1983, it didn’t do so well at the box office. I was too young to go to the movies then, but I hear that it was barely a blip on the movie scene that year. It wasn’t until TBS bought the rights to it, and started playing it over and over every Christmas Eve that it became part of our national holiday identity.