Live Free or Die

This might be the best story ever:

MASHANTUCKET, Conn. — State police said a New Hampshire man has been arrested for allegedly urinating on an employee of the Foxwoods Resort Casino.

Scott Curtis, 39, of Goffstown, N.H., was arrested early Monday after police said he began urinating inside a concourse trash can and then on a casino employee.

I knew people from New Hampshire can be pretty hardcore–toting rifles and and deer carcasses to the giant liquor barns–but I was completely gobsmacked to see that they were now driving all the way down to our fair Nutmeg State just to gamble and piss on our people.

Pot Heads Rejoice

There’s been a lot of hub-bub and hoopla about the possible decriminalization of marijuana possession in CT lately. All that chatter may have taken a step forward recently.

Senate Majority Leader Martin Looney, D- New Haven, submitted testimony Tuesday to the legislature’s judiciary committee on a measure that would decriminalize possession of less than an ounce of marijuana by changing the offense from a misdemeanor — punishable by a maximum $1,000 fine and one year in jail — to an infraction subject to a fine of up to $121.

Desperation Knows No Bounds

I am often complaining about girls who refuse to just accept a break up and move on. You know who I’m talking about — the kind who still call to try and convince their exes that things will be different, that they’re meant to be together four months after the break-up. Lame! But one Connecticut woman has taken the this lack of self-respect to a new low.

Helen Sun, 37, was arrested Tuesday after sneaking into Robert Drawbough’s bedroom and handcuffing herself to him while he slept so they could talk.

WTF Phone Companies?

Didn’t we just get a new area code like 15 years ago?

Why the hell are we getting another one…and what does this explanation mean?

Connecticut will welcome a new area code next month — 475 — and with it will come 10-digit dialing for all calls, even to your next-door neighbor.

Callers will have the option of including the area code when dialing local calls starting April 1. On Dec. 1, using the area code will become mandatory for all calls.

Plans to introduce the 475 area code, which will be assigned to new telephone numbers when the 203 area code runs out of them, have been in the works for years. But state regulators decided Monday to speed up its arrival after a request from Pocket Communications, a new cellphone service provider.

So when exactly do I have to dial the area code? Do I have to go into my cellphone and plug in a bunch of area codes? Should I just go back to communicating via tin cans and smoke signals?

He Said/She Said: President Chuck Norris

Part-time movie star and full-time nut job Chuck Norris has officially put his hat in the ring to run for president of Texas. At this moment, Texas does not have or need a president, seeing as how it’s still part of the United States. But Chuck sees things a little differently and, speaking for our nation’s second biggest state. said Texas will eventually break away and become its own country. We here at The CuT have mixed feelings about this, and how it will affect us – which is the only thing that really matters – so we’ve decided to explore those emotions (something Chuck would never do)!

Hartford Falls Back into Lull

The past week has had downtown Hartford all abuzz with excitement over the Big East Women’s Basketball tourney. Since I cut through the XL Center every day, I began noticing subtle transformations taking place a while ago: converting one of the ugly little side rooms with exposed ceilings and drywall into a “pub” with nicely dressed tables and a bar area; more stanchions being put up and floors being polished; skirted tables for vendors and pop up tents. It was all rather exciting. Buses started arriving with all the teams and police presence was stepped up.

WASPs Winning CT Culture Wars

I’m sure no one actually cares about this statistic except for me, PrissyBitch, and Catholics, but I’m going to write about it anyway. See folks, my family is pretty confused when it comes to religion. None of us are really Catholic, except a few errant cousins. Mostly, we’re “other Christians” ranging from Anglicans, to Congregationalists, to Baptists (Ugh!). Luckily, I don’t think we have any Methodists, because I personally blame them for Evangelicals. I’m technically a Congregationalist — something several friends and boyfriends have failed to understand (meaning, they don’t know what a COngregationalist is)– but I don’t really go to church so it doesn’t matter.

Viagara Gone Wild

When I first read the headline “Visiting Nurse Groped, East Hartford Police Say” I was expecting some 90-year-old man to have slapped his nurse’s bottom, which surely seems par for the course. Afterall, didn’t most of those old men meet theirs wives while sexually harassing nurses in military hospitals uring WWII? But it turned out to be way grosser…

The Courant reports:

At about 11 a.m. Tuesday, police said, a nurse made a routine visit to Rivera’s apartment. He asked her for a kiss, police said, and when she declined, he grabbed her by the face and neck and tried to kiss her on the lips. He wouldn’t let her go, police said.

He tried to slide his hands down her pants and fondled her chest and crotch areas, police said.

Ew ew ew ew ew ew ew! I don’t care if the guy was mentally ill, my first reaction would have been to knee him in his man-parts. I wonder if the judge in this case could issue that as a sentence: one knee to the groin to be dispensed by the victim?

Facebook: Catching Pervs & “Cool” Parents

I think we all know that anyone claiming to be a 14-year-old looking for “a father figure” on MySpace is probably a cop trying to catch a pervert. We also probably know that potential employers Google us and find those embarrassing pictures from last Halloween when you got dressed up as a naughty nurse, or something equally lame, plastered all over Facebook. Some teenagers  have figured out that posting pictures of yourself enaged in criminal acts such as under-aged drinking and smoking pot is a terrible idea with all sorts of potential consequences. Like my 17-year-old cousin, many kids have not figured that out yet, though. Kids in Connecticut though may finally wise-up and realize that their Facebook pages are not private inner-sanctums.

Stuff White People Like: Hiking & Dive Bars

As you might imagine, one of my favorite non-CT related websites is Stuffwhitepeoplelike.com. Generally, I like racial humor. I’m of the “If we can laugh at each other we can love each other” persuasion. So, yesterday, when good old Paddy and I were dragging our white asses up Sleeping Giant, discussing race relations, and how the summit of the mountain was basically a clan rally with a few gays, and maybe a Jew or two thrown in, Stuffwhitepeoplelike.com popped into my head. Mostly, I felt like my weekend was a commercial for that site, so I thought I’d couch this entry in “Stuffwhitepeoplelike” terms.

Help Sam Clements

If you’ve seen the commercials with Scot Haney and someone I don’t care about asking for your help to save the Mark Twain house and you haven’t been moved to tears, you should move to New Jersey. The Twain house is one of Hartford’s few legitimate attractions, and other than the West Hartford Science Museum,  the only good field trip destination for miles around. (The Peabody Museum in New Haven is pretty awesome but doesn’t count, since it’s not in the immediate Hartford area.)

Anyway, I am urging those of you with dough to get out your wallets and donate to the Twain House. What would happen if your kids showed up there on aschool bus expecting a fun, informative day and instead find a crack house or worse…a Starbucks?

Murderous Hamster on the Loose

New Haven Priest Arrested (and not for the reasons you might think)

Someone alert crappy chain restaurants across the country: cops apparently have a problem with you hanging old, rusty license plates on your wall. At least that seems to be the case in East Haven. And don’t get in their way…whether you’re a man of God or not. Also, your security cameras — you know, the ones cops use to solve crimes — are illegal, so from now on, just take Polaroids pictures of thieves as they flee from your store. That should not be detrimental to your health at all.

Put Your Fertility Idols in Your Carry-On

COURTESY OF CONNECTICUT STATE POLICE

My family members who try to convince me to lug crap across the Atlantic Ocean for them can tell you that I like to pack light. I spent a week in Ireland and England with one small bag, and the Asian Persuasian a couple of years ago. Family members who thought I was bringing back souvenirs and gifts from my British relatives were SOL. When I went to California last Fall, I brought that same small bag and got downright irate when I was the last person on the plane and ended up having to check my bag due to a lack of space. I purposely brought a carry-on because I had to change planes twice before getting to San Jose, and did not want to lose my bag. As it turns out, I had good reason to not trust the Bradley bag handlers with my goods.

John Rowland Awards

We’ve been neglecting the Rowland Awards lately — an award intended to go to idiots across CT. So, bored as I am today, I thought it would be the perfect time to compile some idiots for you to vote on.