He Said/She Said: Love & Marriage

We were listening to our favorite radio personality on Tuesday, and heard the ladies from DoubleX.com talk about all sorts of fascinating things. Once we calmed the Anti-Couric down, and reminded her that Colin is not her actual boyfriend and therefore could not possibly be cheating on her with these women, she had a few interesting things to add to the conversation. Colin and the ladies were talking about a study that found women today to be less happy than they have ever been. Pretty much every reason they gave for modern American women being unhappy had to do with their marital roles. This reminded our dear, sweet, confirmed bachelorette of a study she once read about how married men tend to be happier than single men, but married women tend to be unhappier than single women.

Clearly this needs to be hashed out.

Gay Guru: Furtobearfest

The Gay Guru loves all forest creatures, but it’s no secret that I love the Bears most of all. So I was excited to hear that this weekend October 2-4, brings about Furtobearfest 2009 and though it doesn’t support any particular cause, it does concentrate a large group of handsome, husky gay men in and around Connecticut.  Now that’s a cause your Gay Guru can get on board with!

From drinks to brunch, and with a trip to a (mediocre but still somewhat relevant) amusement park, the bears have covered all the bases this year. But let’s face it, they had me at “fest”!

Gay Guru: Don’t Call it a Comeback

I was expecting the real life versions of the bastards who killed Brokeback's Jack Twist, but instead Texas offered me a real life twister!

As I alluded to in several of my previous posts, over the summer your Gay Guru was reporting from fabulous Las Vegas. I’m happy to report now, like Whitney Houston, I’m back bitches!!! Though, the closest to “cracked out” I came in the four months I was away were a few days of taking DayQuil for a nasty head-cold, but you get the idea. I offer to you now, the run down of my own yet to be aired, two-part Oprah interview, because you, my darlings, deserve the inside scoop!

Manatee on the Move

One of my favorite animals is the manatee. They’re just so darned big and lovable. The sea cow ranks right up there with the Siamese cat, sea otter, and German Shepherd among my favorite critters.

In fact, I own two pair of manatee socks. One I bought in Florida, and then lost them for awhile. A friend who heard me whining about my loss bought me a pair for my birthday a few years back — and to this day those socks remain my favorite gift, ever — but I have since recovered the original socks. 

Mutant in the Making

This guy is lucky he didn’t end up like the bloated corpses of Hell beasts found on the beaches of Long Island Sound:

Officials said Young set out from Port of Egypt in Southold en route to Old Saybrook.

He was in the 13-foot whaler. He had 6 gallons of gas.

But the outboard engine broke not long after Young left port – and a police constable said the boat then drifted onto the rocks of Plum Island.

Colin, you forgot…

my favorite form of communication, which happens to be cutting letters out of magazines and pasting them to construction paper before snail mailing them to my favorite local personalities. West Side!

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun…and Fight!

In Stamford, six women were arrested after getting into a brawl at a karaoke bar. Their target was a possibly tone deaf woman singing some Spanish song. According to The Courant, these six women didn’t care much for this senorita’s vocal stylings and started to heckle her. (Oh no you didn’t!) When the singer in question told these women (who are all under the legal drinking age) to shove it, the fur started flying!

Sex & the Suburbs: The Dating Game – Part II

The emails came pouring in for the Anti-Couric because–as she is always telling us–she’s quite a catch. That being said, there wasn’t even a question in the Asian’s mind as to who the winner would be. Even though the quantity of interested suitors was more than enough, the quality left a bit to be desired. As a consequence, a front runner emerged very early on and stayed there.

Local Douche Update: No Oozing This Early in the Morning

Driving to work this morning I had to admit something to myself: I think John Mayer is funny.

The Big E Can Suck It

We thought this chicken was dead for quite awhile.

I haven’t been to the Big E in years, because there’s nothing I hate more than being overcharged ($15) for the opportunity to be overcharged some more. I love a Maine baked potato and clam chowder as much as the next New Englander, but the beauty of living in New England is that I can pretty much get those things whenever I feel like it. And as much as I like watching chickens hatch and Clydesdale shit, I don’t usually have $15 (plus the $10 for parking) to spend on it. However, this year, Boyz II Men was playing and since I spent most the 1990s <3ing the crap out of them, I had to go.

Williamsburg Comes to Connecticut

A band called Free Energy got the rhythmically challenged white kids dancing. As you might expect, the band was from Brooklyn.

A few years back I found myself living amongst America’s most bewildering people: hipsters. I subletted an apartment in Williamsburg, Brooklyn for a month during my brief foray into the concrete jungles of New York. It was like landing on an alien planet filled with Russell Brand look-a-likes. I had a similar feeling this weekend when I visited New London.

Sex & the Suburbs: The Dating Game – Part I

It may surprise you to find out that some of us CuTTers are single. Mostly, by choice (or so we tell ourselves) but partly because we’re anti-social.  The Asian is only off the market due to her sideways lady bits. The rest of us don’t get laid…or we do but we’re not allowed to talk about it. In other words, we know the pain of being single in Connecticut.

We decided we wanted to give some of the methods we’ve suggested to you in the past a try. We tried pitching a matchmaking offer to all of you, but clearly you know better than to put us in charge of your destiny. So, we’re subjecting ourselves to the horrors of dating–even worse, it’s online. In case you haven’t noticed, no one pays us to write this crap so we had to go with a free site: Plentyoffish.com.

Dear America: The Speech

For quite some time I’ve been trying to make sense of this health care debate (I use that term loosely). So I have been anxiously awaiting the president’s speech to the joint session of Congress. Then, just yesterday, I was at work and someone asked me what I thought about Obama’s health care plan. I was confused, because…well…as far as I know there was no approved “plan” yet, and therefore I couldn’t have any real thoughts about it, and simply told him I was looking forward to the President’s speech so he could clear up some of the vagueries of this whole mess. His answer: “What speech?”

Motivate This! (or My Morning Commute)

What I THOUGHT my commute this morning would be like. Not so much.

Last week, our office was sent an email similar to this article in the Hartford Courant (and four others similar to it):

HARTFORD— – Commuters, be warned: Wednesday morning’s commute into downtown Hartford is expected to be a nightmare.

The reason? GET MOTIVATED, a motivational seminar featuring Rudy Giuliani, Laura Bush, General Colin Powell, Joe Montana and a host of others being held at the XL Center today from 8 a.m. to 4:45 p.m. (doors opened at 6:45 this morning). The seminar was a sellout to 19,000 folks who were anticipated to clog the highways into Downtown. Apparently, city and state officials were meeting with event planners to cut down on potential traffic and parking problems including setting up extra commuter lots at Rentschler Field and the North Meadows (and charging $5 a car…not cool for those of us who already pay for monthly parking in the Beat), encouraging carpools, working from home, etc.

F* You Westport

Puke.

You have got to be kidding me, Westport. You are giving the rest of Connecticut a bad name. While people struggle to keep their jobs and their homes you are spending the equivalent of an entire mortgage on a wall, then spending that much a second time in court fees to defend the wall, and may have to spend it yet again to tear down the wall! I have to say it: this makes me hate you a little.

Fences are supposed to make good neighbors. But that wasn’t the case with a stone wall in Westport, Conn., which pitted neighbor against neighbor and has cost its owner $150,000 in legal fees — so far…