He Said/She Said: Jim Calhoun

Before you read, watch this:

He Said:

Queen Jodi Rell called Jim Calhoun’s recent rant defending his salary an “embarrassment.” Were the state’s favorite marble-mouthed coach and his tirade a bit over the top? Absolutely. But when you think about it, that’s what makes him fun! Sort of like that politically incorrect old man who lives down the road who might still use the term “Jap,” you never know what will come out of Coach Calhoun’s mouth!  Someone has to keep things interesting around here, might as well be him.

Unlike the generic, robotic coach who issues the standard post-game clichés, Calhoun, 66, is still full of piss and vinegar, and he has no problem spewing it on reporters that ask questions he might not like. But it’s not as if Calhoun’s gruff personality has affected his job performance. He still manages to get top talent to play basketball in the farmlands of Storrs, Connecticut. Have you been there? It’s amazing anyone wants to go there, and in an industry like big time college sports, the bottom line is the bottom line. So let’s explore that:

  • Do the Huskies win games? Yes, they’ve won loads, including two national titles in 1999 and 2004. (This CuT reporter happened to be on the UConn campus for both wins despite not being a student there. The account for two of the Top Five most fun nights of my life – which isn’t really saying much.)
  • Do the Huskies make a lot of money for the school? According to the coach, they rake in a great haul for the university. In the midst of yelling at this reporter, he claimed the basketball team he is in charge of makes $12 million for the school thus justifying his million dollar salary. (Check out She Said for more on this.)

Aside from the tax revenue department, how many state agencies actually make money for the state? Certainly not DCF or the Department of Corrections. Let’s face it, there isn’t a better run organization paid for by the state than UConn basketball.

While Calhoun might be a little rough around the edges, he does do a lot of charitable work so it’s not like he’s a completely heartless grinch. He has a reputation of intimidating referees and threatening sportswriters but sometimes you have to take the good with the bad! He hasn’t actually done any of them harm yet, so far as we know. So, let’s roll with the Calhoun train for as long as we can and hope he doesn’t pull a Woody Hayes in his old age by decking a player from an opposing team after a turnover.

She Said:

“I make a lot more than that” — WTF Calhoun??????? You’re lucky my “Street Survival” class doesn’t start until tonight…and that I wasn’t there…and will probably never meet you, because a dick answer like that deserves a swift kick to the gonads.

So, you’d like to retire someday, huh? Well good for f-ing you! I would too, but I’m so busy paying back students loans  to the school you apparently bring so much money into, that I’ll be working until I’m 80! (The $12 million claim is dubious at best.) I get that I didn’t go into the lucrative field of training tall people to put shit in a basket, but you’d think my contributions to the world of B2B publishing would be worth at least an 1/8 or  your BS salary (or maybe an endorsement deal of some sort since I am way better looking than you)! Dick. Maybe someday, I’ll have accumulated half of what you make in a year in a 401K and be able to live in a shitty assisted living facility. A girl can dream.

Let us turn now to the words of my Radio (uhhh…Blogger?) Boyfriend, Colin:

He gets a lot of credit for being a molder of young men. I don’t know how a young man under Calhoun’s tutelage could fail to come to the conclusion that the only appropriate response to any pointed question or criticism is to blow your stack and attempt to dominate your questioner. Calhoun is a first-rate coach, but until he learns not to treat the rest of the world like a third-string point guard walking back to the bench after five straight turnovers, until he learns that most of us don’t work for him, don’t play for him and don’t take orders from him, he will be a third-rate public figure.

I love you Colin, but “a molder of young men”? Be honest; Coach Eric Taylor is a molder of young men. Calhoun is an asshole. Let’s face it folks, if you spent much time at UCONN — and I spent 4 years there — you know many of these players are just as big of d-bags as their coach. Remember the clepto from the early 90s? Or a certain late-90s player with a crazy name with some serious baby-mama drama, some questionable gifts from fans/possible drug dealers who was said to have once hit on a friend of mine after class. Wasn’t that guy married? Oh, and freakishly tall Jake Voskuhl had some problems of his own with accepting cars from what seemed to be perfect strangers. Then there were the pot-heads.

(On another note: Khalid El-Amin’s family home appears to have been fire-bombed. Fire-bombed? Yeah, that’s normal.)

These guys get free rides to college, and their coach gets paid more in a year that I’ll make by the time I’m 40 and they can’t even get their heads far enough out of their asses to not get in trouble with the law or NCAA, and stop yelling at reporters/bloggers (who, BTW, make like $0 a year). Dicks.

What does it say about our state that the three highest paid employees are two basketball coaches, and a football coach?

According to the list provided by the Connecticut comptroller’s office Tuesday, Calhoun earned more than $1.6 million from the state in calendar year 2008.

Randy Edsal, UConn’s head football coach, earned $1,380,569, and Geno Auriemma, who coaches women’s basketball at UConn, earned $1,309,426.

By comparison, Gov. M. Jodi Rell earns $150,000 and Attorney General Richard Blumenthal takes home $110,000.

Dicky Blumethal gets paid $110,000 to chase Ticketmaster around and file lawsuits, while Randy Edsal gets well over a million dollars to coach a football team that 3/4 of the state doesn’t give a crap about. Hell, the Governess is only making$150,000 — which might explain why our officials are always having to get hot-tubs for free. (Check out the link above for a calculator that tells you what state employees of all sorts make. It’s scary.) Meanwhile, the state is discussing putting tolls on the highways so poor saps like us have to shell out money just to get to our Nanas’ houses. Don’t make me move ot New Hampshire, because I swear, I’ll do it!