Reclaiming the Health Care Debate (or How I Lost My Mind)

217570Last Friday, 20 or so of my closest friends and I decided to inject some reason and civility into the health care debate. Disgusted with the insane tantrums erupting at town halls across the country, we decided to crash a so-called “tea party” organized by the self-proclaimed tea-baggers and show them what civil-disobedience looks like. We clearly misjudged their brand of crazy…and our capacity for zen-like calm.

What started out as a normal struggle between the forces of good and hysterical blindness, stayed relatively calm for the first hour or so…and then we snapped one by one, revealing a collective primal instinct to kill off the stupid among us. Clearly these people had taken their marching orders from (Hideous Fat Head) Rush Limbaugh and Pat Buchanan and nothing was going to get in their way of using lightly veiled racist slogans, such as “Kenya Took My Health Care,” and the outright insanity of “Obama Lies, Granny Dies,” to show off that big business had once again contracted out the lower middle class and elderly to do their dirty work.

No matter that it was against their own best interests.

The tea-baggers (who clearly need to spend more time with Urban or, at the very least, a short German-born radio sex-therapist) had decided to organize outside of Rep. Joe Courtney’s office, as he is clearly the root of all evil when it comes to Connecticut Politics. (Joe Lieberman must be yesterday’s villain.) Courtney, who refuses to accept the taxpayer subsidized health care (i.e. socialized medicine) offered to elected officials until all Americans have access to affordable coverage, had become the focus of their ire for the afternoon (along with baby killers who would use the public option to murder their own off-spring, and college students who were too busy spending their money on beer to buy their own health insurance).

They seemed, well…confused. The tea-baggers were convinced that Courtney was so disgusted with the ability of the government to run a health care plan that he refused the coverage, and seemed to miss his actual stance (hardly surprising). He declined his health care, in their minds, not because he cares about those in his disctrict and in the rest of the country who have lost their homes because of their inability to recover from mounting health care debt, but because the guv’ment sucks (which makes you wonder why they were even there protesting at all).

It was right around the time that the tea-baggers started confusing these two points that I moved from insane, to borderline chewing an old woman’s face off. That’s the problem with these people. It seems that unless you’re Rachel Maddow, you can’t help but stoop to their level of insanity and anger, even on the streets of Norwich. It seemed impossible for me to stay reasonable with people who were bemoaning government run health care, but had no problem sucking up Medicare dollars.

And that’s the real problem here: we’re dealing with people who seem to have no actual grasp on reality or an ability to listen to a well-reasoned argument and say, “Hey, that makes sense.” No, they prefer to believe that our democratically elected government that is still arguing about abortion, and makes assisted-suicide illegal would instate “death panels” for the elderly. Our only chance to stay rational and reasonable at these events is to show up with a couple of Valium in our systems, and a few more in our pockets. (That is, of course, only if you have drug coverage on your health insurance plan.)

So see you on August 22, tea-baggers! And remember, in the meantime, if you just relax the back of your throat, you can really suppress that gag-reflex.


One comment

  1. Wait, they call THEMSELVES the tea baggers?! HA!! I thought they were called that by people who don’t like them. That’s like naming your marching band the Rusty Trombones…


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