As we here at The CuT anxiously await our 40,000th hit, we have to wonder what the hell is wrong with our readers.
No, no…it’s not the belligerent teabaggers or illiterate teens who leave bizarre, hateful comments that we’re worried about. Those people are beyond our help. It’s those of you who come here by the dozens — and on occasion, the hundreds — to read about the Montauk Monster.
Just look at our stats (after the jump)!
Thanks to WordPress’ awesome Blog Stats reporting tools, it is clear to us that our readers are obsessed with the occult, and government-engineered freak shows. The search terms that bring the most people to our humble blog are, by far, anything including “montauk” and “monster.” But you’ll see that Rob Zombie and things related to A Haunting in Connecticut are our next biggest “sellers.”
Oddly, Justin Long and A Christmas Story also tend to be pretty consistent “earners” for The CuT as well. We’re starting to get worried that you don’t love us for our particular brand of Connecticut humor, but instead are only interested in us for our shadowy figures, bloated carcasses, and slightly douchey local celebrities.
Frankly, though, beggers can’t be choosers and so as autumn draws near, and Halloween starts to loom in our minds (as if the stores haven’t been pushing costumes and candy on us since the 4th of July) we will make a concerted effort to cater to the Creepy McCreepersons of the world, since you have helped propel us to #69 on WordPress’ Growing Blogs list.
Also, though, we plan on going after the CT “bear” demographic — by which I mean big, burly gay guys…not the forest dwelling creatures (mostly because actual ursine creatures will be going into hibernation soon and therefore won’t be reading a word we write). The Gay Guru seems to have been a hit with them, and we think we’ll use that to our advantage.
Now I am off to put myself into harm’s way as I investigate the paranormal, and the dead bodies of hell hounds washed up on our fair shores.