It Took Longer Than I Thought

I warned you, Connecticut. You can take the hillbilly out of Middle America, but you can’t take the Middle America out of the hillbilly.

STAMFORD, Conn. – An Alabama man has been charged with assaulting a fellow guest on “The Jerry Springer Show” in a Connecticut hotel lobby.

Robert Pruitt of Lincoln, Ala., is charged with third-degree assault. Police say he punched a Houston man in the face at about 3:30 a.m. Monday in the lobby of the Hampton Inn & Suites in Stamford, the city where the show is taped.

The truly funny part, though, is that the cops weren’t even sure if these guys were on the same show, which means it’s entirely possible that these guys just locked eyes from across the room, recognized fellow trash and just started fighting.

Like a dream come true.

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4 comments

  1. Alabama is located in the South, not the Midwest.

    Texas is located in, hilariously, “South Central”. Not the Midwest.

    Hillbillies are primarily from Appalachia – the East.

    “Middle America” does not have a hyphen.

    Regionally, “middle America” is not even in the United States.

    More importantly, middle America is not home to The Jerry Springer Show.

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  2. We get hyphen happy…as for the rest of your “points”:

    From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
    Middle America may refer to:

    * The American middle class
    * Midwestern United States
    * Middle America (Americas), a region comprising the mid-latitudes of the Americas

    We were aiming for something close to the first usage…meaning, “average American” (since we all know the America Middle-Class doesn’t actually exist anymore).

    We too have seen the Billy Ray Cyrus History Channel Special all about Hillbillies…but feel free to use the term loosely. Would it make you feel better if we abused the term redneck, bumpkin, or some other commonly used colloquialism? However, Wikipedia once again proves us to not be wrong:

    “Appalachia is a term used to describe a cultural region in the eastern United States that stretches from western New York state to northern Alabama, Mississippi, and Georgia.”

    Next time though, we’ll be sure to use our epithets more carefully so as not offend the delicate sensibilities of our readers.

    To be fair, The Jerry Springer Show is originally a product of Chicago, which is, by your strict definition, very much Middle America.

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  3. yeah, i never thought “middle america” was mid-west. careful reading is actually pretty important before going on a tirade…

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  4. I actually thought the usage of the term middle America was fairly thorough. What came to mind when I read it was the average America (middle of the road), but ironically enough, after reading the response, I realize that the re could be dual usage within the context of this article. I have an uncle who lives in Ohio which he refers to as being the “middle of America” (note: Jerry Springer was the mayor of Cincinnati), so there’s the fact the show’s host did, in fact, come from the “middle” of the country (as opposed to the center,lol). Also, the show itself started off in Chicago (which is probably closer to being in the middle of the country than Ohio). Just adding my two cents…

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