Ghosts of Valentines Past

Here at The CuT, we generally hate Hallmark holidays, and Valentine’s Day is no exception. (The Anti-Couric has actually even stopped recognizing legitimate holidays thanks to her Stuff Boycott.) So, we’re not here to shower you with cute little ideas for your “pookie” or “boo.” Instead, we are going to share with you our Ghosts of Valentines Past.

Spooky. We know.

Asian Persuasion

Most Valentine’s Days to me are school day memories of flimsy paper cards, disgusting sugary hearts, and those wilted carnations you could send to each other in homeroom. After that, I pretended it didn’t exist. Until a couple of years ago when I had been dating this guy on and off for three years or so (whatever you do don’t ask the Anti-Couric’s take on the whole thing…she’ll never shut up).

I decided that I was going to make a lovely Valentine’s Day dinner for us in my new home. I was going to go all out and make a risotto with scallops, lobster and other pricey seafood with rare mushrooms–a dinner that was going to cost a crapload and take a crapload of time.

So, having hashed out my plan of attack and purchased only the best of the best, I actually started to get excited about making this special meal for a holiday I was starting not to despise quite as much.

How stupid was I? The night before I was ready to create this culinary masterpiece, this guy decided that he might not want to come over because he wanted to go bowling with his buddies instead. Really? REALLY?? After a heated argument, he sullenly agreed to come over.

Needless to say, having to force someone to come over for an expensive, complicated meal (picture that evil chef dude from TV screaming “WHERE IS MY RISOTTO?!”…it ain’t easy to make) pretty much takes all the fun out of it. What should have been a delicious and romantic evening was…not. I went right back to hating Valentine’s Day, but it took me several more months to realize that I should have been hating him as well.


Unlike the Asian Persuasion I don’t have one truly horrendous Valentine’s Day story to share. Instead, I’ve got a series of mediocre to decent ones. Ya know, like the time in college when I decided my boyfriend and I should skip the expensive gifts and restaurants and just pick a dessert to make. Well, his mother’s retarded dog kept interfering (he was in the habit of putting his paws up on the stove and burning himself) and the whole goddamned thing came out lopsided. More importantly, though, he decided to ignore my “no gifts” decree and give me flowers…so I felt like a giant asshole.

Then a couple of years ago I won a gift certificate to some fancy restaurant in Stamford, so my boyfriend at the time and I went and got a $100 dinner for $50. That one was pretty good. But then last year, that boyfriend and I broke up about a month before the big V-Day.

Luckily, my best friend is married — and dated her husband for like 8 years before they finally got hitched — and therefore no longer seems to know when Valentine’s Day actually is. So while her husband went winter camping (I’m not joking) we went out, had dinner sitting at a bar (Lord knows you can’t get a table on February 14), and got drunk. She puked. It was a good time.

Ring Nation

Over the years, I’ve come to realize that my memory is awful. Maybe it’s the years of playing football and getting hit in the head, but anyway you look at it, it’s fading on me. So when asked to write about a memorable Valentine’s Day from the past, this was a bit of an issue for me. It’s entirely possible that I haven’t had a Valentine’s Day worth remembering, but who knows?

However, there was one in particular that I do remember and it was quite positive! Let me take you back to February of 1997. It was a simpler time. It was pre-9/11, the economy was good, the internet was just starting to come into its own. I had just gotten my drivers license and was on top of the world! This Valentine’s Day was different from previous years because this is the first time I had a date on Feb 14. Years later, I would realize how rare an occurrence this is.

As a gift to me, my lady friend (actually, girl friend) got us tickets to the Whalers game, which should tell you how long ago this was. The Whale was playing Ottawa in what ended up being a pretty exciting game. While I was a fan of the local team, I was more into the fact that I was with a girl who did NOT hate me and actually wanted to spend time in my presence.

It was a great time! The Whalers ended up winning, I had a blast laughing at stuff with this girl and I remembered having a feeling of “maybe high school isn’t so bad!” After the game, I’m pretty sure I just drove her home and called it a day. Then again, my memory isn’t great (have I mentioned that?) so we could have gone out robbing banks for all I know.

Anyway, enjoy Valentine’s Day, CT! Tell people who are special to you what they mean. Or something like that…