A Guide to Spring Fever

“Begone, winter! Unless you’re going to provide us with picturesque, fluffy whiteness, VAMOOSE. We’ve had it with the gray!” The Anti-Couric and I chant these words while dancing around  tulip bulbs every morning in hopes of bringing on spring. All we seem to have done is perfect our impressions of the witches from MacBeth.

We have an intense need to get our asses outside even though it’s still gross and unpredictable outside. We figure that you, our cherished readers, are probably suffering from the same Spring Fever we are, we thought we’d try to help. So here’s what we do to help bring down the fever.

Start Some Seedlings: Most of us live in apartments or condos but we still want to get down with Mother Earth, and so we get creative with our green thumbs. Sometimes, that’s harder than others. For example, last summer, some vegetable-hating hag reported the Asian-Persuasion to her condo association for growing a small Recession Garden. So this year, she’s planting yellow cherry tomatoes in containers and hiding small heads of lettuce in between lots of flowers.

So, follow the way of the Asian and get some of those indoor “greenhouses” for about $5 at the hardware store and start some seedlings inside. Those can go into containers on your porch or stoop or if you’re lucky enough to have one, deck. Starting a little life will stave off some of that late winter depression, and possibly save yours.

We also suggest herbs like parsley and chives since they look pretty and make your cooking better, if not quite good…but make sure that whatever you want to grow will make it in CT. Avocados and figs ain’t going to happen.

Tramp Around in the Mud: Throw on a good pair of water/mud proof sneakers or boots and go for a walk in the woods. You’ll start to see little tiny signs of spring coming…try Case Mountain in Manchester, Talcott Mountain in Avon or Kettletown State Park in Southbury. Once you get yourself moving, you won’t feel so cold so you don’t even have to put on a heavy jacket. Not to mention, it could help shed that extra layer of warmth we’ve all gained this winter.

Head for the Shore: It always seems warmer by the shore. While we don’t suggest going for a dip, catching hypothermia and dying, a nice walk on the beach makes us think of the nice summer weather to come. Besides, when it’s cold outside you have a good excuse not to strap on a bikini and wade into the seaweed  stew we call Long Island Sound.

Get Some Sun: Every once in awhile during the month of March it will be nice enough to head outside and really enjoy the day. Just sitting in the still weak sun for a few minutes, or cleaning up the yard while it warms your back, can help melt away those winter doldrums. If you have to, just press your face up to your car or office window.

Get Out of Town: Take a cue from the Anti-Couric and PrissyBitch and get the hell out of town…or in their case, the state. Next weekend those two crazy broads are heading for the Gulf Coast where they will, no doubt, terrify the locals. But they’ll be warm and may even get something resembling a suntan — though if you’ve ever seen either of them, you’ll understand how unlikely it is that they’ll expose their pasty faces to southern sun without SPF 45. You don’t need to hop a flight, though. Even the smallest change of scenery can make a real difference. So, if you live in the city or suburbs head to a small town in one of the corners of Connecticut. If you live in one of those quiet corners, then maybe give Hartford or New Haven a visit.