Kiss Us, We’re Only Vaguely Irish


While the Anti-Couric and PrissyBitch are off getting hammered along the Gulf Coast the rest of us who are stuck here in Connecticut are planning on getting plenty pissed ourselves. We’ll just be doing it in the rain, with a bunch of people who claim to be Irish.

Rain or shine, Hartford will be hosting the 39th Annual Greater Hartford St. Patrick’s Parade starting at 11 a.m. We suggest pre-gaming somewhere that it’s dry and warm. If you’re drunk enough early on you won’t even notice the rain. Also, it’s easier to deal with the never-ending bagpipes if you’ve already had a few whiskeys. Don’t get us wrong, we love the bagpipes, but if you’ve ever attended the NYC St. Patty’s Day parade, which is basically just hour after hour of vomiting, bagpipes, and fife and drum corps, you understand that every person has their limit…unless he’s shitfaced.

Of course, New Haven has got its fair share of drunks and fake-Irish people too. This one is March 14, at 1 p.m. If you’re really hardcore, you’ll probably try and hit both. Also in New Haven on the 14th, are the Tipperary Knights playing at Toad’s Place at 2 p.m.

If you’ve got a hankering for self-punishment of a non-alcoholic sort, you could try running a 5k in the O’Hartford. We have no recommendations for this, because we don’t run.