Earth Hour: The Laziest Way to Do Something

Most of us here at The CuT ignore Earth Hour, because we (or at least those of us with ovaries) already live our lives bordering on insane treehugger territory. Sitting around in the dark for awhile is hardly going to raise our awareness. And frankly, the great lengths we go to be to conscious all year long should be rewarded by watching TV for an hour when the  rest of you bastards are sitting around talking to each other.

But for Christ’s sake, people, the least you can do is pretend you care for an hour. So, do it.

Some of us are poor and therefore plug our crap into powerstrips to keep our vampire electronics from sucking us dry, and wear sweaters rather than shell our extra cash for heat. Others are not poor, and are married to Renaissance Man (we finally came up with a name for him) and are getting solar panels strapped to the top of our homes.

We’re all obsessive recyclers. I am at war with my recycling guys who often throw stuff back on my lawn, but will often take the same stuff if I just keep trying. So week after week I put the cardboard cat litter box in the bin, and week after week they throw it back on my lawn. And then, one day, they don’t and I declare victory. AsianPersuasion, on the other hand, doesn’t have a recycling program at her condo. So she sneaks it into other people’s bins — like her parents’, boyfriend’s, or in some cases, my Nana’s.

Then there is the fact that we grow our own food, or as much of it as we can. And this year, we’ve decided to maximize our space by making our own little CuT CSA. We’re planning our gardens as a group and splitting up the plants. So instead of all of us planting zucchini and ending up with more than we could possibly eat, I’ll be planting the zucchini, and PrissyBitch will be taking over the green beans. And AsianPersuasion will be sharecropping at my Nana’s because a plant-hating hag at her condo complex complained about the mini-farm she planted last year.

Still, after watching “The Lazy Environmentalist” yesterday and realizing that some people are truly disgusting and thoughtless in a way that I can’t even begin to fathom, I came to understand the need for “Earth Hour.” Seriously, there were people who ate their meals off of paper plates and plastic utensils because they’re too lazy to wash a dish. One guy complained about having to put something into the recycling bin right next to the regular trash because it was more work. I wanted to jump through the television and strangle every single one of them!

And so, CT, it is important that you sit in the dark for an hour, even if your refrigerators and freezers filled with earth- and body-killing junk food will still be whirring away, and your SUV will still be parked in the heated garage. At least you’re doing something.