When I think of Hartford’s Bushnell Park it evokes memories of childhood trips with my Nana. She would take us to the Bushnell Park Carousel when I was just a wee little Guru. I would run around it to find the most elaborately decorated horse on which to ride. As the Carousel music chimed out, and I thought no one was looking, and I might be able to get away with it, I would ride that horse side saddle. I may have been 5, but it doesn’t mean I didn’t know how to act like a lady.
Bushnell Park also reminds me of an article I read in The Hartford Advocate a few years back. It was about a growing abundance of downtown businessmen seeking out gay prostitutes in the Park and the whores who service them. Unfortunately I can’t find the article to link to, so you’re going to have to take my word for it darlings. But has your Gay Guru ever lied to you?
So, when a friend suggested we take a lunch time walk over to the park this afternoon, it was with some reluctance that I agreed to go. Don’t get me wrong, I maintain a respect for both the hetero and homo sex trades, as the ins and outs (so to speak) of the business have always fascinated me. I just didn’t want to observe any of it firsthand.
Our walk through the park revealed what, I am proud to announce (because your Gay Guru is a lot like Oprah, and I think you’ll agree) is my new favorite thing. No darlings, I didn’t find the love of a horny 50-year-old executive on a park bench, I found Agave’s Taqueria.
The good people at Hartford Restaurant Group (HRG) who brought you Wood-n-Tap Bar & Grill, Vaughan’s Public House and Agave Grill have taken Agave mobile and gone wheeling into Bushnell Park with a Taco/Burrito Cart ……and it is AMAZING!
For $5 you can buy two tacos generously filled with your choice of meat (carne asada, pulled chicken, shredded pork) or grilled vegetables, pico de gallo, shredded cabbage, and something called Chihuahua Cheese. For $6 you can have all the same wonderfulness with rice and black beans in a burrito format.
I had the pulled chicken burrito and it was melt in your pants delicious! Moe’s and Chipotle can suck it, Agave’s Taqueria is my go to burrito buddy from this point forward. I suppose I’m relatively proud to say I took a walk to Bushnell Park and inadvertently got my cock pulled.
Good doesn’t come without a little bad, but the only real downside to Agave’s cart-attack is there is a little bit of a wait. However, HRG run’s a pretty efficient operation at all their locations, so it didn’t shock me that their cart appeared to follow suit. Regardless, long or short, the wait is worth every delectable second. Plus it leaves time for people watching, the Gay Guru’s favorite non-contact sport. My friend and I turned our short wait into a rousing game of “who’s the John and who’s the whore?” The park really is beautiful, and so are most of the men jogging around it.
My only other complaint or comment rather is…well it’s silly, but one of the HRG owners, was standing around looking generally smug and futzing with his iPhone 4. I mean, he’s really cute and all, (I’ve admittedly had a little crush on him since Wood-n-Tap first opened on the corner of Sisson and Capitol Ave. in Hartford) but the whole standing around thing was a turn off. It was, in my opinion, kind of a missed opportunity to sell your brand. So to the tall, handsome, dark haired, HRG fellow, heed the Gay Guru’s advice: Put the iPhone down and get out in front of the cart and mingle with the people waiting in line or passersby….and maybe wear a tighter pair of pants too.
As for the rest of y’all: WALK (Don’t run!..Because, if you run you know you’re just gonna fall down and hurt yourself and Hartford already has enough on its plate without being sued by your clumsy ass!) on down to the Agave Taqueria Cart on Elm Street at the edge of Bushnell Park.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to clean up from my Agave fueled food-gasam and sashé my fabulous ass outta town, but not before giving this little Mexican delight three very patriotic salt shakers.