Cheapskates on a Diet: Week 2

At the end of Week One the ladies were feeling pretty good about themselves. Anti-Couric was finding it a little difficult to eat enough calories when she actually took the time to measure everything, and Asian Persuasion was having trouble keeping toilet paper in the house. But things were looking good after having dropped 1.5 lbs each.

Yes, having consulted the internet the AC learned that 1,200 calories a day would be about what she needed to eat in order to lose 1 lb. per week for a total of four pounds. That seemed reasonable, but she actually found it quite hard on her limited–and usually meatless–food regimen to make it to 1,200 calories unless she ate multiple servings of things. (I guess that’s what happens when you live on Greek yogurt, Kashi cereal, eggs, and vegetables from your garden.)

But then hormones struck. The ladies know what we’re talking about. The bottomless pit feeling became overwhelming, and a life or death need for chocolate chip cookies and ice cream took over. Being a conscientious binge-eater she opted for Nature’s Promise Chocolate Chip Cookies and Farmer’s Cow mint ice cream. And she promptly housed them for dinner…yes, for dinner. But a weekend spent moving a friend and wandering aimlessly in the very hot, muggy woods seemed like it should have made up for that.

Well, as you can see from this week’s results, that doesn’t quite seem to be the case. Anti-Couric isn’t sure if she simply did her ass measurements wrong, or if her butt actually got “bigger.” Since her goal was basically to perk up her butt, she does report feeling as though she’s been successful, which could add some bootyliciousness to the Excel spreadsheet (though an entire inch-and-a-half growth seems highly unlikely). On the weight front…well, less than a pound  gained after eating a box of cookies and a pint of ice cream hardly seems like a problem.

Over on the Asian Front, the cleanse is drawing to a close. She’s glad to be going back to one solid BM a day, especially since the last week of toilet related uncertainty hasn’t seemed to do any good for her BMI. This could also be because at her new job there seems to be a birthday celebration everyday, complete with cookies, cake, ice cream, ice cream cake, and all sorts of sugar-laden goodness.

Last weekend she also went out to Queens for a Mets game and a stop at the Beer Garden. Now, our resident Asian–despite her bad driving–likes to defy stereotypes by drinking a lot of whiskey and snubbing tofu and rice noodles for things like deep fried oreos and funnel cake. So when she goes to a ballpark, things get ugly. Many of us would avoid the food there simply to prevent having to use the bathrooms at the stadium but not the Asian Persuasion. Nope, she’s all about nachos and hots dogs and other non-premium meats.

So, we think a 0-change week is basically a win for her.

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