What Connecticut Needs: Beer Gardens

There are two months of the year when I really enjoy New York City: May and September. The rest of the year I find it too hot or too cold to make the most of the city. So, I shot off an email to a couple of friends (Dave and Pat) saying that I wanted to visit them, and I wanted to go to Astoria’s Bohemian Hall and Beer Garden–conveniently located a few blocks from Dave’s apartment.

On Saturday I packed my cousin into my car and we headed off to Queens. By 2:30 we had a table and a pitcher at the Beer Garden and were in for a long day/night. And by some stroke of dumb luck, it also happened to be the first day of Oktoberfest and we decided to honor that most holy of days by drinking plenty of Spaten.

There are a whole lot of things that are genius about beer gardens. Obviously there’s the beer, but then there is the outdoor element. I mean, if you find me someone who doesn’t like to drink outside and I’ll show you a raging a-hole. The other thing about beer gardens is that they allow parents to bring their kids to bars without feeling like horrible people. I personally have no compunctions about bringing kids to bars. I mean, I don’t like kids so I’d prefer not to deal with them while I’m trying to get my drink on, but I have no moral objections to kids in bars, and frankly, I think it might actually be a good thing to expose them to. (Just look at how well the PrissyBitch and I turned out.) A lot of people do seem to feel bad about it though, and I think beer gardens help new parents–who are often stuck at home changing poo-diapers–to get out and have a few beers without feeling like they need to get a babysitter.

Beer gardens offer more than just beverages though: there are also the various German-style foods, including wursts of all sorts, pickles, and lots of delicious sausages. Connecticut has a few Polish and German restaurants, but unless those places also have outdoor drinking they’re obviously inferior.*

So, if you’re an investor with money to spend give us a shout and we’ll be happy to consult on the building of a beer garden in Hartford/New Haven/Bridgeport. We think one of these festive establishments could be just the thing to bring new life to our cities!

*The Gay Guru has brought it to my attention that there is a Beer Garden at East Side in New Britain. Despite driving by its billboard on 84, I did not register that there was a beer garden there. I hear it’s on the roof, which seems like a poor decision. I haven’t been there yet so I can’t really pass judgment, but it seems more like a restaurant with an outdoor section than a beer garden where one goes to drink for an entire day. I’ll try to make it there and report back.