I Want My Spring Weekend

By Thomas Hawk, Flickr Creative Commons

As it turns out there is a newspaper called The Willimantic Chronicle, and somehow the Asian Persuasion found an article from it about a possible moratorium on Spring Weekend at UConn. She sent it to me in an email, which I luckily saved for quite awhile because the site is a mess and doesn’t seem to have any sort of search function (which means I can’t link to the story). But here’s the gist: After two deaths associated with drunken idiots, the school might ask the students participate in a voluntary moratorium on off-campus parties associated with Spring Weekend.

This seems really dumb. What I remember most about my first Spring Weekend was leaving the concert after seeing Outkast kick ass, and being horrified by the mess that was Third-Eye Blind (the fact that Outkast opened up for those hacks still bugs me) and wandering down to X-Lot. Some kid I went to high school with had parked his POS car in the middle and was using it like a giant boombox. The fact that it survived the weekend was, well, shocking. SHOCKING!

Anyway, those UConn kids really like their drunken debauchery. They love their Carriage House shenanigans and that Celeron place…and probably some other spots I’m too old to know about. The idea that you could get all of them to agree not to throw parties at their places is ludicrous. And if history has taught us anything, it’s actually just easier to let the drunks do their thing than it is to try and control the hordes. People get angry when they see S.W.A.T. teams.

And besides, we all know that the real problem isn’t the UConn students who are drunkenly wandering campus every weekend. It’s the people who flock from all over the state (and beyond) to wreck everything for everyone else: high school kids, students from ECSU, and probably some Bonesmen from Yale. I suggest putting up a fence (a la the Mexican border) and keeping those folks out.