We’re still waiting for the Asian Persuasion to 1) sleep 2) process her trials and tribulations over the past few days for a story. Luckily, in the meantime, old man winter continued to shit on me and now we have plenty of fodder for another snow-related story.
After writing my Christmasnowmageddon story, I decided to leave the rest of the shoveling until the morning. That was a very bad idea. When I finally got my ass into gear on Monday (luckily I took the week off) I found this:
I was not quite expecting that. Then I thought it might just be one of those drifts that the news kept talking about so I tried to step over it… I sunk up to my knees. (Those of you who know my life may be wondering how I was able to leave the door open long enough to take a picture without one of my cats escaping. Well, even when they were outdoor cats they didn’t like going out until someone had cleared a nice little path through the snow. I figured going out in this was unthinkable to them, and I was right.)
After the initial shock of snow up to my knee, I headed out to conquer that white powder like I was a cokehead on my way to rehab. Shoveling that amount of snow is like solving a puzzle. You don’t want to put it where you’re just going to have to shovel it again, but when you’re working on stairs that basically means heaving it over the side railing. So it goes without saying that today, my arms and shoulders huuuuuurt and I am in serious need of a massage.
It was really quite peaceful. I live on a busy road with woods behind me and a farm across the road. It’s pretty, but noisy. When I went outside to shovel on Sunday night, there was barely a car to be seen. I actually thought about letting my cats out with me. There wasn’t a car that went by moving fast enough to hit much of anything, let alone my cats–one of which would have climbed a tree as soon as she got outside, the other would have probably laid down under my car. On Monday the roads were still quiet, even though they were perfectly clear.
The snowplows had done a number on my mailbox, and once I’d cleared a path to the driveway I realized what a monumental task I had in front of me (and wondered if it would take longer to shovel the rest of the driveway or find a husband to do it for me). After I’d gotten about 1/5 of the driveway done my arms were burning and my fingers were cold. I wanted a tea… so I decided to take a break. I went inside, started drinking my tea and then heard the magical sound of my landlord showing up with a snowblower.
I thought all was well after that but a little after 7 o’clock my power flickered a few times before going out totally. Awesome. I sat around in the dark for a few minutes before remembering I had candles in the house, but wasn’t sure where the lighter was. I checked drawers and shelves all over the house with only my iPhone to light the way. Eventually I found the candles and lighter and crawled into bed where I read by candlelight like my ancestors did in cottages across the United Kingdom. I may have done serious, irreversible damage to my eyes.
Around 10 o’clock the power came back on, which I only noticed because of the blinking lights on my clock. Nothing left to do but wait for the Asian Persuasion to share her epic tale…and for my boots to arrive.