Hairless & Defenseless

Lots of hair and a few extra pounds = extra protection against the elements. (Isn't my Jer-Bear the sweetest?)

I wasn’t going to write about the poor hairless kitten that died of hypothermia after being kept in the cargo compartment of a plane for too long at Bradley Airport on its way to meet its new family, which paid nearly $300 to fly “Snickers” in from Utah — plus whatever absurd amount of money they bought the cat for in the first place. But the Gay Guru changed my mind.

I feel sorry for this kitten, I do. It got the shit end of the stick from the beginning, simply by being born a hairless cat, and I blame the nut-jobs who bred the cat. I know that the first hairless cat was a naturally occurring phenomenon (thanks to Cats 101 on the Animal Planet) but was this really a trait we needed to continue selecting for? They’re greasy, pimply, and completely unprepared for real life as a cat. I’ve got two fat bastard cats laying at the end of my bed as I type this, and one is a furball. Every time he lays down on the floor he leaves a ring of hair behind, and he’s survived a lot more than an hour in the cold.

More to the point, this furry little monster who calls my apartment home cost me $0 (unless you count his vet bills and food). He was wandering the mean streets of Glastonbury one winter, faking a limp, and eventually the Animal Control Officer picked him up. Months later, he came home with me — where he is incessantly bullied by the other hairy street urchin that hogs my bed.

If you haven’t already guessed, I have a real problem with the business of pedigree pets. I like an adorable Golden Retriever puppy as much as the next person, but I spend several days a week walking sweet, lovable shelter dogs who need homes and don’t get them because of America’s obsession with pedigree animals and having the best everything.

Getting the right dog for your family, though, is much more important than getting the right cat — felines pretty much just show up at your door and move in whether you like it or not. If you’re lucky, they pay attention to you, but quite often they just eat your food until one of you dies. Why anyone would pay for one, let alone fly one across the country is beyond me. If you’re allergic to cats…don’t get one! But breeding hairless, defenseless freakshows is not the answer.

So…if you’re feeling bad about this poor kitten’s plight, hit up and adopt a cat from your local shelter. Or even better, adopt one of my pound puppies!