Bin-Laden Slayer to Give Commencement Speech

I have occasionally encouraged Connecticut college grads to skip their ceremonies. If you’ve been attending a big state school no one will know the difference anyway, but I would suggest attending the Coast Guard Academy’s graduation where you’ll get to see badass President Obama (a close personal friend of the Prissy Bitch and I since we met him on a runway at O’Hare) give the commencement speech.

Frankly, I’m jealous. You know who gave my commence speech? No?

Me either.

Dr. Henry Lee did get an honorary degree of some sort from UCONN the year I graduated, and he talked for a little while but understanding him is like being water boarded. If he’s not talking about that guy who put his wife in a wood chipper or O.J. Simpson, I just don’t wanna hear it.

Anyway, if you can’t make it down to Groton today, you can tune into WNPR to hear coverage.