First of all, I’d like to thank you for the credit on my electric bill that apparently helps make up for the week I spent sleeping at other peoples’ homes while my cats hung out in my dark, cold house by themselves.
I understand the high winds from this weekend created some more power outages. I am thoroughly grateful to not have been affected (knock on wood), but I’d like to talk to you about the enormous, terrifying trees in my yard. You see, I did not plant these trees. It’s entirely possible that they’re older than I am, but they sit at the edge of my backyard, along the edge of a private road. I hate these trees. The people who live on the private road hate the trees, and you should also hate the trees. They are very close to, and above some of your power lines.
I was hoping that I’d get a big fat tax refund and that I’d be able to take these suckers down, but it doesn’t look like that’s going to happen. So what do you think? Ya wanna come out and take them down for me?