Earlier today the GayGuru sent me a link to a relatively innocuous headline about a kid at Glastonbury High School who was arrested for possession of marijuana–that required the use of a k9. This isn’t really news, but our Gmail conversation about the incident made me laugh, so I thought we’d share it.
GayGuru: I feel like the CuT headline should be: Glastonbury HS Student Caught With Pot…Also, The Sky is Blue
Anti-Couric: what an excellent use of resources.
Gay-Guru: what, the k-9 unit to track the kid’s path? I’m shocked they didn’t scramble the state police helicopter
Anti-Couric: even better, i’m pretty sure gbury doesn’t havea k-9 unit so it probably got brought in from east hartford. cuz the east hartford police don’t have anything better to do than track glastonbury stoner kids. and if he ran down the path i’m thinking of, it goes right by the pound. they could have pulled out some old, stray mutt to find the weed. hell, my cats could have found it.
GayGuru: what i found really funny is there is an “ongoing drug investigation at the school.” I assume their “investigation” dates back to 1988.
Anti-Couric: well, they should be investigating the ongoing heroin use, and they’d be better off catching the little fuckers in gas station bathrooms.
GayGuru: I’m pretty sure the Shell Station on main street is a front for a Heroin pipeline. they’ve slowly been running out of soda/cigarettes and not restocking. and your typical vaguely middle-eastern looking owners, complete with 10 lbs of gold chains on 50lbs of chest-hair…basically they just hang around and look shifty
not like, terrorist shifty, but like, direct heroin supply from Turkey-shifty
which, is a thing….
….that I just made up