You’d be surprised by just how often I wake up wondering how it’s possible that the Prissy Bitch and I have not yet been dismembered by a bull… So it’s probably a good thing we didn’t go to the Berlin Fair where this happened:
A woman was rushed to the hospital after being kicked in the chest by a bull at the Berlin Fair…
According to the fair’s security director, an outside company called Xtreme Team Bullriders, asked audience members to pay $20 to get into the ring with several bulls.
Now, as we’ve pointed out in some of our accounts of bull rider encounters, actual bull riders get to wear kevlar vests (and helmets if they choose). We’re also guessing they probably wear cups. So why a company would think it’s a good idea to put civilians into a ring with even the oldest, slowest bulls is way beyond my comprehension.
Once, when I was little, I was visiting family in Texas and we went to the ranch where one of my uncles spent a lot of time. For some reason they put us kids in the back of a pick-up truck with the tailgate down and drove out into the fields. When you do this, cattle tend to think they’re being fed and they will chase the truck waiting for you to throw them bales of hay or something. All we had was ice. I was terrified! Longhorns are especially scary looking.
You could not pay me enough to get into a ring with those bastards!
So Berlin Fair, next year you should think about sticking to Mutton Bustin’!