What kind of reference do you get after pooping in an oven?

Most of us entertain fantasies of going out in a blaze of glory at our miserable jobs. Maybe we think about telling our boss off, or stealing a stapler.  But only the most disturbed among us consider shitting on anything. That doesn’t mean we don’t all kind think this story is HILARIOUS:

“A home health aide from Fairfield was arrested, accused of leaving feces in her former employer’s appliances after she was laid off, according to several reports.”

Fiona Clarke allegedly left big ol’ piles of poo in her former employer’s oven and fridge. The really grotesque part is that they only noticed after turning on the stove, and the heated turd started to stink.

I like to sit around and imagine exactly how she went about this. Did she poop in her hand, catch it in a towel, fish it out of the bowl? There’s just so many amazing visuals. And I’d personally love to hear her next job interview.

“So why did you leave your last job, Ms. Clarke?”

“I shit in my boss’ major appliances.”

“Oh. Well, how many words-a-minute can you type?”