Your porn habits are boring

Thank goodness for the people at PornMD. Without them I would have no idea what my disgusting neighbors are typing into their porn search engines, but thanks to a new survey (I use that term loosely) we will never be able to look at people in the grocery stores the same way again. It probably won’t come as much surprise that Vermont’s top porn search is “lesbian” or that much of the south seems to be into something called “hentai” that I’m afraid to Google. And depending on what your sex life is like, it may or may not come as a surprise that Connecticut’s search terms are pretty mundane.

I was hoping ya’ll would be into foot fetishists, or grown men dressing up as babies, or something so dirty and weird that I can’t even imagine what it would be. Instead, you’re out there focusing on age, searching “college” and “milf” the most.

20130312-193418.jpg

I’m guessing your interest in massages has something to do with your desire for the middle-aged woman at Massage Envy to strip off her khakis and give you a happy ending, but what I will never understand is anyone’s interest in the “creampie.”

Anyway, I’m bored by your porn habits, Connecticut… I’m gonna go see what those freaks in Florida are up to.

Advertisements