Polar Vortex and Porn: Nutmeggers Stay “Warm”

The internet is good for so many things: the free and easy flow of information, inspiring social movements, videos of cats riding Roombas, and porn. When a polar vortex descends upon you, and the mere thought of going outdoors makes your eyelids freeze shut, there is only one thing to do. Turn to porn to keep warm. Thanks to Al Gore, we can all now see exactly which state was watching the most adult content during our little cold snap.

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I’m not totally sure what to make of these numbers. I mean, maybe Connecticut’s daily average porn intake way pretty small and so the Polar Porn Increase is just big by comparison. I find it pretty hard to believe we are anywhere near Florida in our naughty nurse consumption.

And just how cold did it get in Florida anyway? Are they just looking for excuses to bring up skin flicks on their laptops?

I’m also a little surprised that Maine and Michigan top the list. They should be pretty used to the cold by now. Maybe the polar vortex just pushed all the snowmobilers inside… and we all know what happens when you let those guys near an iPad.

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