Connecticut is a Fertile Valley of Magic (and Unicorns)

The name doesn't lie...

The name doesn’t lie…

So recently, a guy dared to say he likes living in Connecticut. Internet commenters immediately jumped into action trying to cut this affable, generous human being down to size because fuuuuuuuckTAXESmaaaaan!  This spurred a column from Colin McEnroe, which spurred a letter from an angry reader who doesn’t understand internet commenters or how news sites work. (For the record, trolls love it when you insult them, it’s their oxygen. And news sites love it when commenters get angry and drive up page views. It’s a win-win.)

So I decided it was a good time to remind you why it’s nice to live in Connecticut. I’m not going to claim we’re the best state–we’ll leave that kind of gauche boasting to Texans–but we do have a pretty good thing going on here. Not only do we make some basic attempts at treating our citizens like human beings with basic rights and dignity,  but we’ve got good pizza (pizza is basically an abomination in much of the country), and potable water (which doesn’t seem to be a given for some states, and certainly not for many countries). A couple of years ago I got a free rain barrel from the MDC, meanwhile Californians are resorting to drinking their own urine a la Bear Grylls, thanks to a devastating drought. The school near my parents’ house in a crappy neighborhood gives out free lunch to hungry kids every day, and we have lots of wineries.

You know what, if you’re one of those haters who just complains about Connecticut because it isn’t New York or Boston — or worse yet, a hater who hates because this isn’t Georgia or Texas or some other wild pig-infested paradise for pro-lifers and open-carry enthusiasts– I don’t have time to try to convince you how awesome the Nutmeg State is. So here is some of our best propaganda:

There’s a lot more to be excited about, but it’s late, I’ve got a summer cold, and if you’re not already convinced that Connecticut is better than the vast majority of other places you could live, then just move… Hurry up and go to Arkansas, it will help solve our traffic problem.