The other day we found what just might be the most pointless thing ever posted on the internet, and that includes everything we’ve ever posted. So, ya know…it’s pretty bad. “10 Things You Need to Know About Dating Someone from Connecticut” popped up in my Facebook newsfeed and I clicked through, just in case it was something I needed to send The Farmer. It was not.
Rather than an informative, or even humorous listicle I found what appeared to be something written by some poor freelancer who has never actually set foot in Connecticut. (If there is a great disturbance in the universe and I am proven wrong, and this person is actually from Connecticut, then I can only assume he or she is from Fairfield County, which we all know only counts as Connecticut for tax purposes.)
There’s something on the list about the whole Red Sox vs. Yankee rivalry, but you may not even get that far down the list because you are so baffled/irate/homicidal over the first item on the list: “Connecticuddling.”
Immediately after we posted this ridiculous list to our Facebook page, the above picture appeared in the comments thanks to the Gay Guru. Here’s what the article itself has to say about this completely made up thing:
Here’s every day in Autumn with your significant other: Cuddling under a flannel blanket after a long day of apple picking, hot apple cider drinking, and leaf peeping. Connecticuters call it “The Connecticuddle.” Seriously, you’re in for the coziest, cuddliest autumn of your life when you date a someone from The Nutmeg State.
First of all, the state would shut down if this were true. We don’t all just drop everything come September to sit around cuddling under a blanket and drinking cider. More to the point, it’s not even cold enough to do that most of the time. I mean, yesterday the temperature was in the mid-70s and we’re several weeks into October.
Moreover, on the days that we do have enough time to sit around cuddling under a blanket (and to go apple picking, and leaf peeping) we still don’t refer to it as Connecticuddling. I look forward to chilly, rainy days — and even cold, snowy days — because they give me a reason to cuddle on the couch, but I have never once used the C-word to describe it.
So if you were thinking about moving to Connecticut but then read the listicle in question and thought, “I can’t live anywhere that expects me to do something as embarrassing and degrading as Connecticuddling” rest assured that no one who is actually from the Nutmeg state will ever ask you to do such a thing. Mostly, we just require that you own a cable knit sweater and plant mums in your yard as soon as Labor Day is over.
And all I have to say about “liberalservatives” is…