Live Blog

Election Day in Connecticut: Live Blog

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It’s been an especially long election cycle this time around. And we’ve spent more hours than we would like to admit racked with anxiety about the possibility that a flaming turd that happens to resemble a human man could actually be elected to the most powerful office in the world. The sheer lunacy of it proves that a lot of people in this country cannot handle their right to vote.

And please don’t even bother coming at us with your anti-Hillary nonsense. Here are a few reasons why whatever nonsense you’re about to spew is wrong:

But today is about the election and our right/responsibility as citizens to vote. We’ll be checking in throughout the day to tell you about our experience at the polls, and the anxieties that overtake us as the results roll in.  (more…)

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#Snowpocalypse 2013 — Nemo Survival Stories

Those white lumps? They’re cars.

Nemo, Charlotte, whatever you want to call it, let’s just agree it was a bitch. We hope you and yours got sufficiently boozed up and made it through with power, heat and water and no one was stupid enough to try and venture out.

Saturday, 3:17 p.m. – Asian Persuasion – Manchester: Holy freaking hell, that’s a lot of snow. Last night was insane and we knew we’d be in for it today obviously. We headed out to clear cars and let Tulla play in the snow before our condo’s plow guys showed up around noon. We finished clearing out our cars around 2pm. I can totally understand how people have heart attacks shoveling. I’m pretty sure I almost had one and it made me think I should start exercising more. Don’t worry–I quickly dismissed that thought. The one bad part about being out early to clear off cars in a condo situation is that while you’re done, you’re sitting around waiting for everyone else to finish. Going inside seems stupid since you have to unbundle, only to rebundle in 30 minutes to move your car. This means you then feel the need to help other people. Which also means you are extra sore at the end. But, we did our good deeds and helped our weirdo, creepy, not-so-nice, older Greek neighbor and some guy a few doors down whose wife was studying for school. I will also say that our plow guys were pretty hilarious–going since 2pm yesterday but still smiling with good attitudes and refusing any offers of food or drink despite the fact they had to be running on fumes. Much like their snow blowers.

When we were told to move our cars so the plows could do a swipe through the parking spots, I decided to take a ride around the block. Halfway through, I realized it wasn’t the best idea I’ve ever had. Fortunately, the main streets were plowed-ish. I’m sure they were actually plowed at some point, but people were clearing their driveways and all that crap has to go somewhere. In any case, I made it back in one piece but side streets, business parking lots and businesses themselves looked like ghost towns. Crazy. We measured 30-something inches here, but of course with the drifting, it’s hard to tell. The sky’s clear, but it’s blowing around like a mo-fo out there. I think this calls for a nap, or a drink. I’ll admit, I’m a little worried about Anti-Couric who I’m pretty sure has no snow blower, but a driveway that she’s responsible for. If I’m not sure she’s been dug out by Wednesday, I’ll alert proper authorities.

6:20 p.m. – Anti-Couric – East Hartford: I love the snow. I really do, but I don’t own a snowblower… and my shovel broke. Every time I went to hurl a mass of snow, the shovel head would come off with it and go flying into a pile. Awesome.

Eventually I taped the damn thing back together and started working on clearing a path to the car and to the garbage cans. I just didn’t know where else to start. By the time I’d dug a narrow path past the car, my uterus started to go into revolt (ladies you know what I”m talking about) and I couldn’t take it anymore. I went back inside, took a shower, and was making myself a tea when I heard what sounded like a snowblower in front of my house. My neighbor from across the road was snowblowing my sidewalk. I pounded my tea, dried my hair, and put my snow suit back on. I thanked him profusely and then tackled my front walkway. That wasn’t so bad, really. But then I went back to trying to connect the sidewalk to the path I’d started on the driveway. My uterus got angry again.

So I decided that was enough for the day. I’ve got about 3/4 of the driveway still to do…not to mention the enormous pile at the end of the driveway caused by the plows. But that’s gonna have to wait until tomorrow… I need more tea… and to get back to reading the new Dennis Lehane book. I need to know if Emma Gould is alive.

#Snowpocalypse 2013 — The Live Blog

You’ve probably realized by now that our live blogs of storms are incredibly boring. They mostly consist of us just sitting around in our homes, telling you what we’re eating, drinking, and shoveling. And that’s probably what you’ll get this time around too… But we’re usually at least mildly amusing. So enjoy.

7:41 a.m. – Asian Persuasion – Manchester: Well, I’m just going to head into work now. I’ve checked three websites, including Hartford Parking Authority and there doesn’t seem to be a parking ban. I can save myself the 10-15 minute walk in and park on the street. Sweet.

8:15 a.m. – Asian Persuasion – Hartford: Well, even Starbucks is closing early. I think this means it’s for serious. First one in the office and mentally taking bets as to how many people are idiots like me. No sign of snow yet.

9:22 a.m. – Asian Persuasion – Hartford: We’ve got about a third of the staff in. It’s quiet which in theory means, I’ll be more productive.

10:15 a.m. – Asian Persuasion – Hartford: WTF?! I got a parking ticket. Apparently there WAS a parking ban, despite the lack of signage, or postings on any websites. I am thinking of a whole pile of insults here. I’ve never contested a parking ticket before, but I’ll be starting now! DAMN YOU HARTFORD–THIS IS WHY PEOPLE INSULT YOU ALL THE TIME!

Going to start listening to the Hartford Symphony’s Nemo playlist to calm myself.

11:21 a.m. – Anti-Couric – East Hartford – I woke up this morning and realized that despite my trip to the grocery store last night (spurred mostly by my need for guacamole to go on my burritos and not by a pre-storm panic) I had forgotten to get agave nectar somewhere between parking at another store just to be able to get to the grocery store, and wanting to murder the people buying cases of water. Agave nectar probably isn’t a staple in your house, but it’s what I put in my tea… and without tea, life just isn’t worth living. So I brushed my teeth, put on the clothes I wore yesterday, and headed out to Ocean State job Lot (where the Asian Persuasion won’t shop but things like agave nectar and digestive biscuits are uber-cheap). While I was at Ocean State, I figured it was as good a time as any to finally go next door to Pep Boys and buy the windshield wiper I’d been needing. I scoffed at the poor girl ahead of me who needed some stranger to install her windshield wiper, and then I headed back to the car (where the dog was patiently waiting). Then I realized I kind of needed gas, even though I probably won’t be going anywhere. So I went to a gas station where some genius was camped out near the entrance, blocking the way and (I assume) waiting to see which of the 15 bays opened up first. I found this very annoying, because that’s just not proper gas station etiquette. Everyone knows you pull in behind a car, and wait for them to leave. If you pick a loser, too bad. (This was especially stupid today because though every bay was full, no car had a line waiting behind it so it’s not like the place was packed.) So, rather than wait for another car to pull in behind me and cause a line to back up out into traffic, I went around the dumb hoe who was blocking the entrance… and she beeped at me. She’s lucky I’m in a good mood today, because I kind of felt like lecturing her on how to properly use a gas station (which does not include letting your idiot kids run around buying candy, though she apparently didn’t know that either). Anyway, I finally got home, changed my wiper, made a tea and some breakfast tacos… and now I’m writing this and staring out my office window watching the snow…

11:43 a.m. – Asian Persuasion – Hartford: Okay, apparently roads are going to be closed, etc. Soon. I suppose I should pack my ass up and head home and kick my team out.

11:52 a.m. – Tech_Envy – Glastonbury: Live from a snowy Glastonbury center, I just kicked my two teams out of the office to close out their day from home. Roads will indeed be closing at noon, so I am getting ready to make the trek as well! I’ll post an update on those roads when I reach Bolton! Stay safe out there everyone!

12:17 p.m. – Asian Persuasion – Manchester: Wow, people are idiots. Roads were wet and just just just starting to get slick. For some reason, this either means a) go 20 mph or b) go 95 mph and impatiently weave in and out of everyone. Morons.

12:21 p.m. – Anti-Couric – East Hartford: CL&P just called to tell me there is a storm coming. Whoa! Good thing someone told me. Also, at what point do we start holding TV reporters responsible for their completely irresponsible behavior while covering storms.

1:05 p.m. – Anti-Couric – East Hartford: Shovel early and often, that’s what I always say. So my first snow-removal of the day is done. Had the dog outside with me for all of 10 minutes before she started limping thanks to a clump of icy snow stuck between her paw pads. We’re back inside now… so sick of the news coverage of the storm that I’m resorting to watching The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

1:15 p.m. – Tech_Envy – Bolton: The roads are getting a little slick, but nothing we New England folk can’t handle! Actually, I am astonished at the amount of tards on the road right now, Hebron Ave in Glastonbury at one point, up by Highland Park Market, looked like people were fleeing the zombie apocalypse. It was pretty amusing. Also, watching people rage because the gas stations are all out of gas was comical. This storm may have been brought about by HAARP (http://www.haarpconspiracy.com/) to stop people from bitching about $4 gasoline. Seriously… I haven’t heard someone complain since the news coverage started, have you???

1:37 p.m. – Asian Persuasion – Manchester: Lunch complete, and a nice Syrah in my Nemo cup…a little Beethoven and my data analysis isn’t nearly as bad as it would have been in the office:

2:10 p.m. – Tech_Envy – Bolton: Package store across the street from us is buzzing like the day before a holiday when the “blue laws” were in effect. Lots of people with the same idea as us I suppose!

2:10 p.m. – Tech_Envy – Bolton: My wife just brought me a nice hot bowl of Annie’s shells and cheese. I thought it was worth sharing (the news, not the food)! Thanks Hunny Bunny!

2:48 p.m. – Anti-Couric – East Hartford: Forgive me if this post is nonsensical. I am stupider for having watched two episodes of RHBH. A friend posted a picture of her storm provisions on Facebook, and it included cookie dough. Now I’m thinking about going out to get cookie dough to gnaw on… but then I’d have to clean off the car. I don’t really feel like doing that… Woe is me.

3:00 p.m. – Asian Persuasion – Manchester: I just threw up a little bit in my mouth reading Tech_Envy’s words of “Hunny Bunny.” Seriously, dude. In other news, I decided to take the recycling out and it’s starting to get windy out there. Like close-your-eyes-cause-snow-is-pelting-you-in-the-irises-windy. I was shaking my head at the idiots still out on the road, until I realized that I forgot to get flour to make cookies. Then I debated going to the store, until I realized that would make me just as much of an idiot. Damn. Seriously people, let’s listen to good ol’ Dannel and get the hell off the roads. Then there’s these a-holes on the Weather Channel patting themselves on the back for predicting the storm. “We’ve done a really good job tracking this storm.” Wait a second, isn’t that your JOB?!

3:24 p.m. – Anti-Couric – East Hartford: I’ve found a new way to entertain myself. I sent a picture of my dog playing in the snow to NBC. Then I decided to encourage all my friends to take pictures and send those to NBC. I’m hoping that within an hour or so, I will have been able to mount a coup and completely take over the broadcast with pictures of my friends and their pets in the snow. It’s way more interesting than watching some dude stand next to a road in the snow just to show us all what we can see outside our window.

4:50 p.m. – Tech_Envy – Bolton: I apologize for clearly upsetting the Asian Persuasion with my term of endearment… I’ll try and come up with something more original, but I doubt if I could beat hers (if you’re wondering I heard it’s “my little fortune cookie”). Anywho, weather wise it’s cold, damn cold out there. I had to tighten the cover on my grill out on the deck and we’re starting to see some serious accumulation! I’m praying we don’t lose power tonight, but with Bolton’s track record it is a very distinct possibility. Cross those fingers for me though. I have a whole lot of WoW to play the next couple days!

5:00 p.m. – Anti-Couric – East Hartford: This…
httpv://youtu.be/i6zaVYWLTkU

7:40 p.m. – Anti-Couric – East Hartford: Just finished shoveling for the third time, and I moved more snow on this round than I did in the previous two put together. It’s really coming down now, and the wind was making it hard to see. The dog loved it though… for a while… I stopped to talk to a neighbor for a few minutes and the dog was romping around, playing in the snow and getting lovin’ from the neighbor, but when I back to shoveling it was just too hard to watch the dog and move snow so I put her in the backyard for a while. I didn’t latch the gate because the snow was high enough to make it tough to move. I headed back out front and a few minutes later the dog came running out front to see me. I went to bring back to the yard and she stopped at the backdoor. She had a nice little layer of snow accumulating on her fur, and I think she was saying, “F–k this, lady, I’m done.”

8:01 p.m. – Asian Persuasion – Manchester: Well, it’s gotten about as exciting as watching paint dry. I mean, I’m perfectly content with how I’ve spent my time, but you all may find it mind numbingly boring. Tough shit.  Did some pilates, made a kickass lasagna and opening a bottle of wine that might be a little too easy to drink. Watched some idiot in a 2-door civic with snow all over his back windshield crawl down the street and argued with The Pilot about what I should offer to the snow guys plowing our lot. I want to toss the dog out in the snow, but The Pilot says that we have to wait until it’s deeper. Party pooper. Hey, Tech_Envy…fortune cookies are an American creation…by a white person, I think.

10:24 p.m. – Asian Persuasion – Manchester: We finally made it outside to let the dog run around. It’s cold and windy as all get out, if you couldn’t guess. There are still colossal idiots out there trying to drive in this whiteout. Tulla raced like a horse, leaping onto the condo’s picnic table, up the snow mountains created by the plows and right up into our arms. She makes a good snow dog:

Live Blog: Hallowinter!

Asian Persuasion – Manchester – 10/29/2011, 5:27 p.m.: So I suck at life. Around 1pm the Anti-Couric left me a voicemail asking me to coordinate a live blog of this ridiculous snowstorm because he’s dumb enough to be heading to Dirty Jerz. But…I was at the mall.

That’s right, I was one of the surprising number of people who were big enough jackasses to head to the Westfarms with imminent winter storm warnings. It was bloody packed. By the time I left at 2:45 p.m., the parking lot was still fairly full and the roads weren’t too bad if you kept it slow.

However, once I reached the juncture of 84 and 384, it was pretty rough. I’ve kept to home every since. I decided to wash the dog and clean the bathroom before the guaranteed power outages hit. The Pilot and I also watched some giant tree branches take out the neighbor’s fence. I’m praying that they don’t fall on our place…but there’s an iffy looking one hanging over our spare bedroom.

We’ve had a couple flickers of power, but no actual outage…yet. CL&P’s map looks like one hot effing mess. We hurried through cooking dinner at like 4:30 p.m…steak and shrimp fajitas…out of fear of losing power. So now I sit with a stomach ache, mooching off someone else’s internet because ours somehow went out in the last power flicker.

Anti-Couric – Between CT and NJ – 10/29/2011, 6:00 p.m.: On hour 4 of my trek to Jersey. Somehow other cars keep ending up going the wrong way on the side of the road. Luckily the Renaissance Man and his Volve seem to have things under control.

Asian Persuasion – Manchester –10/29/2011, 6:02 p.m.: Um. Across the street are power lines. One is…sparking. Like embers blowing off of it. The Pilot has been taking pictures of it and just now said, “I wonder if we should call and let them know.” I think that’d be a good idea.

Anti-Couric – Somewhere in NJ – 10/29/2011, 6:20 p.m.: Jeresey’s roads are a complete shitshow. Even more than normal.

Anti-Couric – Somewhere in NJ – 10/29/2011, 6:39 p.m.: There are trees down in the street the party is on. And power keeps flickering. We can’t get to the house.

Asian Persuasion – Manchester – 10/29/2011, 8:42 p.m.: The sky just flashed green a couple of times. I think the aliens are coming for us. Or a transformer exploded.

Gay Guru – Sanford, Maine – 10/30/2011, 8:30 a.m.: Sometime around 8:30 last night I sent a picture to the AP showing snow filling the small park across the street from the wedding I was attending in Sanford Maine. I recieved a message back from the AP saying, “No power here”. Last I heard of the Maine forecast, they were predicting 6 to 8 inches of snow….but no one really cared because, it’s Maine. By some miracle, we have power at the Inn I’m staying at, but no internet and no cable….so thank jeebus for cell service (Verizon) and a USB tether!

I talked to my aunt sometime around midnight and she told me, “the power is out all over, they’re saying it’s worse than Irene”. Lucky for my aunt and uncle, they have a generator, and lucky for me, I hadn’t planned on returning to Connecticut until Monday anyway. A quick check of my facebook show’s a lot of my CT friends posting updates via cell phone with some clearly exhibiting signs of Post-Snowmatic Stress (which is a term I’m coining right now). One friend has, in true WASPy Connecticut fashion, decided to completely ignore the snow and no-power and is preparing his beach gear.

So darlings, here I am in Maine, hung over and more likely probably still a little drunk which means it’s going to be a really interesting drive to the Groom’s Sister’s house for post wedding brunch. I’ll check in later darlings! Cheers!

The tree that fell next to Asian Persuasion's car. Not on. Next to.

Asian Persuasion – Manchester – 10/30/2011, 12:10 p.m.: No power, no heat. A tree fell next to my car. Not on, next to. The backyard of the house behind us looks like the trees had a war. This is going to blow.

Gay Guru – York, Maine – 10/30/2011, 12:30 p.m.: On the move to my friend’s house (I’m a gay about Maine, darlings) where I’m spending the night before returning to Connecticut tomorrow. Still thinking I’m a little drunk… Road to my friend’s house, come to find out, is blocked with downed limbs and power lines. Uggghhhhh. Talked to my father in Connecticut, he suggests I call before I come home tomorrow as apparently they’re expecting to be without power for a couple days.

Asian Persuasion – Manchester – 10/30/2011, 1:01 p.m.: Have taken refuge at the Barnes & Noble. Found plugs to recharge phones and there’s hot water to wash hands! I keep wondering if they’ll kick me out for having a kindle instead of a nook. The Pilot is reading “Airports of the World”. For realz. The plow guy came as we were returning from the DD by Pratt & Whitney (packed and open!). He plowed the tree out of the lot. It was pretty kickass.

Asian Persuasion – Manchester – 10/30/2011, 5:22 p.m.: We have power! No internet and barely any phone service, but heat and hot water and light! The Pilot is now watching DVR’d episodes of Jersey Shore since there’s no real cable. Once he’s done, there are only DVR’d reruns of Gilmore Girls!

Gay Guru – York, Maine – 10/31/2011, 8:35 a.m.: The Maine attitude of not giving much care to this Hallowinter snow has really settled in with me. I had truly thought nothing of returning to Connecticut today, until I received a text message from my father asking me to pick up several forms of “proteins” (chicken, fish, shrimp, etc.) as well as milk and cheese, because apparently “the grocery store is on lock-down”. This news has me second guessing my return. I had worried less and less about driving back down to Connecticut today as I saw more and more of my friends reappearing in my facebook news feed. I had even thought about asking friends if they wanted anything from the New Hampshire Liquor Store as I’ll be heading past it on the way home. Now I’m worried that I’m driving back into a post-snowpocolyptic scene with a trunk full of meats and cheeses and no way to defend my meaty, cheesey contraband other than with a fierce  slapping ability and snappy backhanded compliments.

Asian Persuasion – Hartford – 10/31/2011, 9:28 a.m.: Made it into work with no problems. Of course, work never loses power or Internet. The roads were empty as most people seem to be penned into their houses. At least many of my co-workers are. My nod to Halloween are socks. And a scarf, mittens and a winter coat. I am starting to worry about the Anti-Couric though. I mean, the last I heard was that she was going to a Halloween party in Jersey on Saturday night and that the street the party was on was blocked with a fallen tree.

Asian Persuasion – Hartford – 10/31/2011, 9:34 a.m.: Just heard from the Anti-Couric. She alive and feisty–full of piss and vinegar. All is right with the world.

Ring Nation – Boston, MA – 10/31/2011, 10:10 a.m.:  Around 5:30pm Saturday night, my house lost power. Until then, it was a nice little weekend!! But when you lose the power in the dead of a snow storm, that’s not good. Sunday night I high-tailed it up to Boston to stay with my lady friend. What’s funny is that there were apparently a number of others with the same idea to escape CT. The 84-Mass Pike change area was backed up for miles with people looking to fill up with gasoline. It was very end-of-the-world like. But anyway, here in Boston things are nice!! We’ve got power, heat, and places to eat that are actually open. To celebrate having the ability to eat somewhere, I went to a place in Southie that features Mexican and Chinese food so I got a burrito and a spring roll. It was glorious. As of 9:30am, CL&P was reporting that 100% of Windsor is dark. Yeah, I’ll pass on that. Hopefully power returns by Tuesday…

Gay Guru – York, Maine – 10/31/2011, 10:48 a.m.: In just a few minutes darling, I’m begining my journey to CT via a pit-stop in Portsmouth, NH with a laundry list of food to pick up for my family…. wish me luck darlings!

Gay Guru – Sturbridge, MA – 10/31/2011, 2:01 p.m.: Nearing the CT border. Have received no less than three phone calls detailing what a war zone Connecticut is right now. I wonder if my outfit is dramatic enough for this…

Live Blog: The Summer Storm

By Frank Peters, Flickr Creative Commons

Gay Guru – Glastonbury – 4:20 p. m.: Interspersed with bouts of watching train-wreck police video’s on TruTV, I’ve been checking the storm warnings as they appear on Connecticut news stations and as tweeted by NBC 30’s adorable weatherman Ryan Hanrahan.  Things have grown noticeably darker outside. The trees are showing the silvery back of their leaves as they blow in the wind, which, fancy weather technology aside, is always a good indicator we’re in for a storm. Oh, and you know those white puffy pollen things? They all seem to be floating upward, as if being dust-bustered up… that can’t be good.

Anti-Couric – Newtown – 5:05 p.m.: My mother called me a few hours ago sounding very disturbed. She’s worried about tornadoes. I told her it’s not even raining here so I think we’re good. But we’ve still got a few more hours of this nonsense. On the bright side, pilates class at the gym will probably be pretty empty if everyone is worried about getting sucked up into a tornado on the drive over.

Anti-Couric – Monroe – 6:00 p.m.: It’s hot and the air is pretty still. We had a sprinkling a while ago, but that’s been it thus far. Somewhere my mother is, no doubt, huddled in her basement thanks to Springfield’s tornado.

Ring Nation – Windsor – 8:00 p.m.: Upon just seeing some footage: HOLY CRAP!!!! Are you seeing this!?

Anti-Couric – Monroe – 8:40 p.m.: It’s still stifling hot, and there is still no relief. I would like some rain but not too much wind. That would be ideal. I’m starting to think this might be our most boring live blog ever…which is saying something since most of them consist of us sitting in our houses complaining, shoveling, and complaining more.

Ring Nation – Windsor – 10:00 p.m.: Remember when it wouldn’t stop raining a few weeks ago and people were making the joke “when did I move to Seattle?” Well, when did we move to Oklahoma?!”

When news about a tornado touching down here in Southern New England, I figured no big deal. I had seen a tornado in New Haven county in 2002 and it didn’t do much damage. After seeing news footage, this is quite different. The footage of the tornado ripping through Springfield MA was fairly terrifying. Since I went to college in Springfield and know a few people in the area, I have been looking at updates people posted on Facebook. One guy posted a video from his phone from an upper floor of a building in Springfield that overlooked West Springfield and you could see the tornado going across the Memorial Bridge. (If this were late night, you could make the case that a tornado might be the safest thing about the Memorial Bridge.)

But just to the south in Windsor CT, all was eerily calm. Thankfully no tornados came our way. The skies did go from a pleasant sunset red to dark and Doomsday fairly quickly, though. I was just driving on 91 through Hartford and the rain all of a sudden started coming down in sheets with lightning going off all around. Crazy. I figured the best thing to do is to buy a Powerball ticket because really it would only make sense for me to win just as the world is about to blow up. Hooray.

Live Blogging Snowmageddon #3

Since the state seems to think it’s necessary to shutdown before it actually snows and stir the good people of CT into a rabid frenzy, we thought it would be fun to start live blogging the storm before it starts. As far as we can tell, half the fun of the snowstorm is the anticipation anyway.

Say goodbye to the Anti-Couric until May!

Anti-Couric – Monroe – 8: 20 p.m. – Two days ago my mom called to make sure I would not have to go to work if it snowed. A few minutes ago the Asian Persuasion asked me if my office was closed. It seems that no one understands that I am one of two people in my office, and neither of has any reason to go into the office even on a beautiful day. So…I’ll be staying home to shovel my driveway every few hours and spend more time in bed with my new down comforter (which makes me insanely happy).

Asian Persuasion – Manchester – 9: 27 p.m. – I’ve spent a good deal of time tonight obsessively checking my work email and company website to see if our office is closed tomorrow. I almost feel guilty about how giddy I am about the impending White Doom, but not really. To calm myself, I decided to take a nice bath. Bad idea. The Boyfriend soon after discovered a leak coming from the upstairs bathtub area into our downstairs bathroom. DOOOOOMMMM. Now the paint is sagging from where it filled with water, and the trash is filled with paper towels from trying to soak it all up. And I don’t think the plumber will be willing to come out tomorrow.

Anti-Couric – Monroe – 10 p.m. – Ok, so all the news reports said the snow was going to start after 10…but I got nothing so far. I was hoping it would start on queue so I could go and shovel once before heading to bed. (I like to keep on top of these things.)

Anti-Couric – Monroe – 10:35 p.m. – It seems to have started snowing. Oh the joy.

Gay Guru – Glastonbury – 11:04 p.m.- While the first flake has yet to fly in the Hartford area, the sky is painted with that familiar orange color that reflects off of the increasing clouds from the ambient lights below.  Throughout the day today, as the forecast grew more daunting, the buzz about the office I work for was that we would be open tomorrow. The official position was, “If you feel you can’t come in, then don’t come in.”  While my car is Swedish and as such built for diving in any amount of snow, I was a bit nervous.  However, I received word a short time ago that the office is officially closed tomorrow.  While I try to keep positive darlings, you must understand that my office never closes…..ever.   So with this announcement, my “spell of nervousness” has been officially upgraded to “quite scared.”

Gay Guru – Glastonbury – 11:29 p.m.- Spoke too soon, it’s started snowing… whoopie-loo.

Asian Persuasion – Manchester – 6:47 a.m. – Dragged my ass out of bed to see if the office is indeed closed, or if someone lost their senses and decided it was imperative for us to work during a whiteout. Luckily, we’re closed…unfortunately, I fall into the half of the office with company laptops, so I can actually do work from home. The rest are free to go fall into a snowbank if they please.

There is a crapton of snow. That’s a precise measurement, people. The dog took two steps out the front door and immediately made a dash to go back inside, which says something. She essentially peed on the front steps, but you’d never know because there’s so much snow that you can’t tell that there are actual steps there. Time to go back to bed.

Asian Persuasion – Manchester – 7:29 a.m. – ANNOYED. It’s become very apparent that I am not going to be able to go back to sleep so it’s time to bang out some work.

Anti-Couric – Monroe – 8:50 a.m. – I slept until almost 8:30 when my clock radio and WNPR started telling me that we’d gotten over a foot of snow so far. Since I could hear a single car going by on my usually very busy road I figured that WNPR wasn’t lying just to mess with my head. CT, I am feeling very defeated… There is just so much snow out there. I’m never getting out.

Gay Guru – Glastonbury – 8:57 a.m.-Like the Asian and Anti-Couric, I too woke up relatively early. I had every intention of sleeping in, but as it turns out I forgot to shut off one of the three alarms that I require to get my lazy ass out of bed in the morning.  I spent half an hour standing in my porch admiring the eerie silence of the Wednesday morning.  The dull roar of cars and trucks from nearby Route 2 and planes is absent today.  There are some cars traveling down Route 2, but the snow is falling faster than they’re moving.

Ruby doing her part to dig us out.

Anti-Couric – Monroe – 9:15 a.m. – I sent my mom the picture of my steps and she immediately called to laugh at me. I went back to the front door to inspect an empty plant hanger in the tree out front. The snow is now only about six inches from the bottom of the planter. Ruby, my cat, decided she was going to try and help dig us out. It was funny but it made a mess.

Gay Guru – Glastonbury – 9:55 a.m.- That last “heavy snow band”  they kept talking about….it’s here.

Anti-Couric – Monroe – 11:15 a.m. – Had a tea and then went outside to do some shoveling and take some pictures. My forearms are kinda numb now and I don’t even have a clear path to the road yet. I’m hoping for a miracle of some sort…mostly because the piles of snow at the end of my driveway are making it hazardous to try and enter traffic. It’s days like these when I wish I could stand other people and had a roommate. We could a) shovel together b) sit around watching The Fellowship of the Ring together (which I’m doing anyway) c) Go play in the snow.

According to the news, Newtown got 27 inches which seems about right. The snow is up to my hips.

PrissyBitch – Bridgeport – 11:30 a.m. – I love a good snow. Sitting in front of my picture window, cozied up in a cableknit Ralph Lauren throw, and sipping a warm cup of Irish coffee, everything seems so peaceful and calm. Except those weirdos outside shoveling their own driveways. I don’t understand why they don’t just pay others to do that for them like we do. I mean, honestly, shoveling looks like no fun, and our little Jesus does such a wonderful job why would we ever bother??

Asian Persuasion – Manchester – 11:57 a.m.- I spent the last 4 1/2 hours doing more work than I do in a week. Sadly, it’s very apparent that my boss, her boss and I are the only ones working or on email. This results in 7979847328947289372 emails from both of them. I did spend 10 minutes with The Boyfriend throwing the dog around in the snow, which was hilarious since the snow is well over her head. I’m sharing a video, if you’ll all excuse my monkey pajama pants. Reports say that we got 19 inches, which I feel like is low-balling it.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AivrQEvkoe4

Gay Guru – Glastonbury – 12:32 p.m.- Just noticed on the business closings ticker that Ron-a-Roll Skate Center in Vernon is closed, which is news to me because last I noticed their sign was falling off their building, so I’m shocked it was actually still open…

Anti-Couric – Monroe – 2:10 p.m. – I ate some oatmeal, did some work, farted around on the internet, and then ate a breakfast burrito (my genius recipe that I think may be close  to nutritional perfection) and then went back to trying to find work to do. Then, just as I was getting myself psyched up to go back outside and shovel some more, my landlord showed up. He managed to bully his way into the driveway, and dropped the snowblower on the snow. He should be done by Friday.

Asian Persuasion – Manchester – 3:08 p.m.- The Boyfriend went out to try to clear off cars. He got about halfway through his before he wizened up and realized the snow has no where to go really. Some weirdo in an SUV made it into our complex which is a miracle…and a testament to this person’s poor sense.  Now reports say we got 23 inches.

Gay Guru – Glastonbury – 3:17 p.m.- It seems the snow has subsided to just a few flurries here.  The snow plow guy has also arrived, which allows me to breathe a sigh of relief. While I don’t plan on going anywhere, I’m just glad that freedom is mine, if I want it. If you’ve been watching any of the local news coverage, you have probably heard that the state police are urging people to stay off the roads. That’s probably a good idea.

Anti-Couric — Monroe — 4:30 p.m. – He’s still snowblowing.

Asian Persuasion — Manchester — 5:20 p.m. — Decided to go out around 3:30 to clear off my car. I have just returned. Our plow company showed up as most of us were clearing things off and shoveling out–which actually slowed down the process. Note to self: Buy a shovel so no longer have to beg and borrow from better prepared neighbors. I am numb. And wet. And cold. My hair got wet and froze. Thank God for hot tea.

Anti-Couric — Monroe — 7:20 p.m. — Went outside  to clean my car off once the snowblowing was done. It was kind of like taking an Alaskan cruise and watching as glaciers calve, only there were no bears, no annoying couples to eat dinner with, and my arms are once again practically numb. There were easily two feet of snow on top of my car and every time I got the trunk cleaned off, half a glacier came down off the roof and end made a new mess. Eh, why am I telling you about it when you can see it for yourself.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bYH2Df-evNs

Asian Persuasion – Manchester – 7:51 p.m. – Twenty-seven inches here. 27. 27. I am 5 feet tall, 60 inches. The amount of snow that fell is almost half of me. Made some sausage and peppers for dinner and am secretly hoping that something will prevent me from having to go to work tomorrow. If schools are already closing for tomorrow, why can’t my work?

Who doesn't clear 27 inches of snow off the top of their car?!

I also just took a peek outside to see how our snow removal company did since there’s nowhere in our complex to PUT any of it. There’s a nice row of cleaned off cars with just a dusting on them and then there’s my crazy pants next door neighbor with the sides of his car cleared, but all 27 inches of snow on top. For the first hour of the rest of  us shoveling out, he and his equally crazy pants wife stared at all of us from their window. Then he came out and did his half ass clean off job…I’m more worried about when he realizes that it needs to be cleaned off in order to drive. It’s all gotta land somewhere and guess whose car is to the left of his?