clinton

Election Day in Connecticut: Live Blog

giphy

It’s been an especially long election cycle this time around. And we’ve spent more hours than we would like to admit racked with anxiety about the possibility that a flaming turd that happens to resemble a human man could actually be elected to the most powerful office in the world. The sheer lunacy of it proves that a lot of people in this country cannot handle their right to vote.

And please don’t even bother coming at us with your anti-Hillary nonsense. Here are a few reasons why whatever nonsense you’re about to spew is wrong:

But today is about the election and our right/responsibility as citizens to vote. We’ll be checking in throughout the day to tell you about our experience at the polls, and the anxieties that overtake us as the results roll in.  (more…)

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Clinton Bluefish Fest: Possibly the worst town event ever

This was the crowd about noon--when most town fairs are raging.

This was the crowd about noon–when most town fairs are raging.

A few weekends ago, The Pilot and I were looking for something to do. I suggested Northampton, MA because it’s cute and pretty and I love hippies. He found the 39th Annual Bluefish Festival in Clinton, and despite my arguments that it was going to be a crappy, podunk town fair, I gave in. I shouldn’t have. (more…)

Homeschooled Kid Makes a Run for It

Normally, stories about runaways aren’t funny, but since this kid was found safely, we figure it’s OK to poke fun at. The kid allegedly ran away after getting in an argument with his mom, and the family was worried because:

Steven is home-schooled, Dunn said, and his parents did not believe he had any friends or playmates in the local area.

This sentence makes me think the kid just wanted to get the Hell out of his house. He was sick of sitting around staring at his parents while they teach him his times tables and (probably) creationism. Maybe they should just put him in public school where he will learn from all the other kids that it’s cold outside, and a January night in Connecticut is not the best time to run away. A more spoiled kid would have  turned his nose up at sleeping under a neighbor’s boat, and put up with his mom so he could sleep in the comfort of his own bed.